Word Play

I wish I could take credit for the following, but a friend e-mailed it to me today and I thought it was too good not to pass along. Hope many of you can use these in your classrooms:

• Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

• 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

• 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

• Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

• Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

• Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

• 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

• Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

• 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

• Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

• Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

• 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

• 1 million- microphones = 1 megaphone

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Oh, how we love words. These are some... strange definitions. Read them
slowly... some may take a second or two to sink in.

• EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist.

• HEROES: What a guy in a boat does.

• LEFT BANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money.

• MISTY: How golfers create divots.

• PARADOX: Two physicians.

• PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

• PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm.

• POLARIZE: What penguins see with.

• PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from the couch in front of the TV.

• RELIEF: What trees do in the spring.

• RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife.

• SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does.

And our (the anonymous writer's) favorite:

• SUDAFED: Litigation brought against a government official.