WHISPERING THROUGH WATER: Two Reviews of Rebecca Wheeler's Debut Young Adult Novel

In this blog post, I'm trying something new. Teen reviewer Mara Scudder and I both read Rebecca Wheeler's book, Whispering Through Water (Monarch Educational Services, 2023) and we each wanted to share our thoughts about it. Today you get a teen's and a senior's take on a book that is obviously for all ages!

MARA'S REVIEW

Whispering Through Water is a YA summer romance wrapped up in a mystery. The protagonist, Gwyneth Madison, is a high school senior with her eyes set on a college in the far-away city of Boston. Desperate to escape her monotonous small-town life, Gwyn would risk almost anything to get to art school. Her wealthy Aunt Delia, who once promised to pay for her college, is disappointed in her decision and determined to keep her from attending school out of state. When Gwyn finds a mysteriously personal letter addressed to her aunt, she decides to investigate.

The mystery sends her on a series of hunts as she digs through family secrets to discover what really motivates her seemingly pedantic and entitled aunt. Along the way, she meets and falls in love with Isaac, a college sophomore, and grows to understand that there is much more to her family history than she ever thought.

The character arcs throughout this work were well done. Few characters were two-dimensional or static, and many relationships changed and evolved over the course of the novel. These dynamics brought a deeper level of meaning to the themes drawn throughout the book and overall turned the book from a rather dull summer romance into an exploration of what makes a family and what it is worth.

The mystery was also well-written, with the leap from an average high school senior to a teenage detective an understandable one. None of her adventures seemed unattainable or particularly incredible, which made for a more realistic mystery. Her drive to get to the bottom of the family mystery was also understandable, and aside from the romance (which was rushed along a bit too quickly), the plot was well-paced. The character arcs, mystery, and plot were all very well done. Overall, it made for a pleasant read with tangible characters, strong values, and meaningful themes.

Illustration by Terri Moore

CAROL'S REVIEW  (Warning: Spoiler alerts)

As some of you know, Rebecca is my new partner for the Talking Story newsletter. We've gotten to know each other since working together. But as I was reading her manuscript, I kept texting her: "You're not going to believe the similarities between your book and Half-Truths!" In both our books older female foils hold the purse strings to the college education that the protagonists want. Each girl must tolerate tables with fine china, clothes that don't fit their style or taste, and a special luncheon. But most of all--there are family secrets that both teens decide must be brought to light--with serious consequences for the older women. Our stories are separated in time by about 40 years, but both our protagonists learn the difficulties involved in speaking the truth--especially with people they love. 

I particularly enjoyed how authentically vulnerable the characters were portrayed. They made mistakes and sought forgiveness. Even the sweet romance includes conflict as Gwyn and her boyfriend realize that relationships have ups and downs. 

Here are some of my favorite lines from the book:

When Gwyn first confides in Isaac about her struggles with her aunt, she says: 

"It's like in my mind, I feel as if I'm dreaming for her to understand what I want, what I need, but then when the words leave my mouth, I feel as if--"I paused to gather my thoughts--"as if I'm just whispering through water."  (p. 79)

In a very touching moment, Isaac's mother, Brenda, becomes Gwyn's confidant. After Gwyn shares what she has discovered, Brenda says,

"Even the deepest hidden secrets find their way to the surface." (p. 167)

In a soul-revealing conversation when they talk about the child Aunt Delia was forced to abandon, Aunt Delia says: 

"They told me I would forget about him. They promised I would...They were the ones who lied, Gwyn. Because I could never forget." (p. 180)

One of the first times I heard about objective correlatives was from Christine Kohler. I still have our email correspondence about it from seven years ago. When I read this last conversation with Aunt Delia, I thought about how Rebecca skillfully showed Gwyn's emotions. 

My gaze followed a ladybug as she pulled herself over the window ledge and disappeared. A sudden feeling of peace passed through me.

      "So, you're letting me go," I said softly.

      "Yes, dear. I'm letting you go."

Gorgeously written, this story will stay with you long after you've finished reading it.

GIVEAWAY

Please leave a comment by November 8 if you are interested in winning an EPUB of Whispering Through Water, courtesy of Monarch Educational Services. No limitations on who can win it! IN ADDITION: Rebecca is giving away an autographed copy of the paperback!

Please leave me your email address if you are new to my blog. If you are more comfortable, you can email me to enter. 

Writing Tips #5: Nuggets of Wisdom on Editing & Revision

Congratulations to Kathy Weichman who won Beginnings Middles & Ends by Nancy Kress.  Thanks to all of you who contributed to the this series. You can find the previous posts here: Part I and II included General Advice; Part III was on Deep Point of View; and Part IV was on Story Making. 

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"During my time as a facilitator of various writing groups, I saw the tendency of overusing the words ‘that’ and ‘was’.

THAT is a word THAT should not be used THAT often. 

It is reasonable to say, eighty percent of that’s are not necessary.

"WAS is another overused word that takes away from the action.  I once had a writing assignment in college where the professor wanted a two thousand word story written without the use of ‘was.'  Almost impossible to do.  Try replacing 'was' with action words or dialogue.  If you use it more than ten times in a two thousand word story, you are abusing the word.   

"Misplacing a comma can turn the meaning of a sentence into something other than intended. Always place a comma before a person’s name when used in dialogue.   

 “Let’s go out and eat Nancy.”

 “Let’s go out and eat, Nancy.”

"In the first example, it looks like Nancy is dinner. 

In the second example, with the comma before Nancy’s name, the meaning isn’t so graphic."  Tommy Styles, short story writer.

"Editing will require you to kill phrases, paragraphs, maybe even entire chapters or characters that you love. Sometimes they’ll be the bits you think are clever and beautiful and certain to be the ones your fans will be quoting and sharing on social media. You must be willing to do it anyway. You must learn to become brutally analytical about your own work. If it doesn’t help the story, it is not necessary. Period."  Shannon Wiersbitzky, author of What Flowers Remember.

"I am beginning an extensive revision and working hard to cut what needs to be cut, but it helps to remember that what is cut doesn't need to be trashed. It can be saved to be used another day. Maybe it won't, but it's easier to cut when I have that mindset." Kathy Cannon Wiechman, author of Like A River.

"When you cutting, words, sentences, paragraphs don't just throw them away. That's too emotional for many of us. Open a "shards" or "discards" file for each WIP and save those cuttings. You'll be able to use them another day in another project." Jean Hall, founder of Write2Ignite.

"Writing and publishing is a long-term pursuit, so don't rush what you are working on, and don't submit before it is polished. Revision is the key to publication." Christine Kohler, author of No Surrender Soldier.

Found on http://madwomanintheforest.com/wfmad-day-18-revision-roadmap/ 

"Put away your work for a good while before revising." Rosi Hollenbeck, SCBWI critique group coordinator for Northern and Central California and blogger.

"There comes a time to put down the writing books, the notes from conferences and classes, the "he said she said" telling you what to do or not to do and JUST WRITE THE STORY THAT'S IN YOUR HEART. Sandra Warren, author of Arlie the Alligator.

If you need more inspiration, check out Janice Hardy's month of outstanding at-home revision blogs. Kathy Temean has an excellent list of things not to miss when editing your work. And here are some top editing and proofreading tips from the folks at Romance University.

Finally, here is advice from a fourth-grade teacher; I use this quote whenever I teach writing: 

  "The red pencil is your best friend." 

Writing Tips #3- Nuggets of Wisdom on Deep Point of View

When I asked my writer friends for writing tips, I had no idea what they would send. I received lots of general advice, but also a few tidbits that I categorized. Today's post compiles ones on deep point of view.

I was first introduced to this concept during Lorin Oberweger's  Free Expressions seminar. Lorin generously gave me permission to post this excellent handout, and in this blog I share some of my experiences at that workshop. Now I consciously look for how authors portray their protagonists' point of view. 

To me, deep point of view is about filtering my character's world through her unique lens. Getting inside her skin and psyche. Feeling her anguish, fears, conflicts, joys, and thrills. Being as "up close and personal" as possible. 

Even if that character happens to be a mouse.

Image found on imgfave.com

Here are some tips on how to accomplish this:

"Write from inside your character's head. You have to see what he sees and feel what he feels. If you want to fully pull a reader into your setting and story, this is vital. I write fiction, but I think this also applies to non-fiction, at least to some degree." Kathy Cannon Wiechman, author of Like a River.

"As the POV deepens, it becomes easier for the reader to completely immerse themselves in the story, in the character, and to forget that it is actually fiction. 

"But how to achieve that? One good starting point is by taking away the “telling” part of thinking and saying, of seeing and watching, and simply “showing" us that instead.

"Here are a few examples using passages from my middle-grade novel What Flowers Remember.

• When our tears ended, Mama unwrapped me and pushed herself up from the couch. “How about I get us some toast with honey.” 
• Mae reached back down into the bag. “That’s why we have gliiiitterrrr!” She sang the last word, stretching it out and draping it all over the room. 
• Mrs. Williams folded up a nearby magazine and swatted him on the arm. “Sometimes it’s as if you were raised in a barn.” 

"Not a single “said” or “thought” in any of those…and while you might easily see where they could be added, why? Would it make the passage better? I’d argue no. 

"I was mindful of trying to eliminate speech tags where I felt it worked, replacing them with body language or movement or some other action. All of which works to help readers not just understand what is happening, but to better visualize it." Shannon Wiersbitzky, author of The Summer of Hammers and Angels.

"Always consider the character’s needs, not the author's. What does the character see, feel, hear, think and how does she react. And to paraphrase both Donald Maass and Bruce Coville—although not sure they expected it to come together in quite this way—don’t take the obvious emotion first. Give readers the unexpected emotion--or the unexpected mix of emotional reactions--from the character, but don’t forget to let the reader know why the character is having that reaction. That doesn’t require a flashback, or even an explanation right then, but do make sure you give the reader what they need to know when they need to know it. Martina Boone, author of Compulsion.

"When writing point of view, imagine your main character is looking through a camera lens. The objective viewpoint would be seeing the world around him with a wide-angle or panoramic lens. The subjective viewpoint would be looking at things with a macro-lens, and taking lots of selfies." Christine Kohler, author of No Surrender Soldier, explains more about objective and subjective viewpoints in this article.

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Next week I'll be reviewing and giving away an ARC of Kathy Wiechman's debut novel, Like a River. After that will be two more posts in this "Writing Tips" series. The next is on story making and the last one is on revision. If you want to chime in on either topic, leave me a comment or send me an email at cbaldwin6@me.com. If I use your nugget, I'll add your name for  a drawing to receive this book: