Writing Tips #3- Nuggets of Wisdom on Deep Point of View

When I asked my writer friends for writing tips, I had no idea what they would send. I received lots of general advice, but also a few tidbits that I categorized. Today's post compiles ones on deep point of view.

I was first introduced to this concept during Lorin Oberweger's  Free Expressions seminar. Lorin generously gave me permission to post this excellent handout, and in this blog I share some of my experiences at that workshop. Now I consciously look for how authors portray their protagonists' point of view. 

To me, deep point of view is about filtering my character's world through her unique lens. Getting inside her skin and psyche. Feeling her anguish, fears, conflicts, joys, and thrills. Being as "up close and personal" as possible. 

Even if that character happens to be a mouse.

Image found on imgfave.com

Here are some tips on how to accomplish this:

"Write from inside your character's head. You have to see what he sees and feel what he feels. If you want to fully pull a reader into your setting and story, this is vital. I write fiction, but I think this also applies to non-fiction, at least to some degree." Kathy Cannon Wiechman, author of Like a River.

"As the POV deepens, it becomes easier for the reader to completely immerse themselves in the story, in the character, and to forget that it is actually fiction. 

"But how to achieve that? One good starting point is by taking away the “telling” part of thinking and saying, of seeing and watching, and simply “showing" us that instead.

"Here are a few examples using passages from my middle-grade novel What Flowers Remember.

• When our tears ended, Mama unwrapped me and pushed herself up from the couch. “How about I get us some toast with honey.” 
• Mae reached back down into the bag. “That’s why we have gliiiitterrrr!” She sang the last word, stretching it out and draping it all over the room. 
• Mrs. Williams folded up a nearby magazine and swatted him on the arm. “Sometimes it’s as if you were raised in a barn.” 

"Not a single “said” or “thought” in any of those…and while you might easily see where they could be added, why? Would it make the passage better? I’d argue no. 

"I was mindful of trying to eliminate speech tags where I felt it worked, replacing them with body language or movement or some other action. All of which works to help readers not just understand what is happening, but to better visualize it." Shannon Wiersbitzky, author of The Summer of Hammers and Angels.

"Always consider the character’s needs, not the author's. What does the character see, feel, hear, think and how does she react. And to paraphrase both Donald Maass and Bruce Coville—although not sure they expected it to come together in quite this way—don’t take the obvious emotion first. Give readers the unexpected emotion--or the unexpected mix of emotional reactions--from the character, but don’t forget to let the reader know why the character is having that reaction. That doesn’t require a flashback, or even an explanation right then, but do make sure you give the reader what they need to know when they need to know it. Martina Boone, author of Compulsion.

"When writing point of view, imagine your main character is looking through a camera lens. The objective viewpoint would be seeing the world around him with a wide-angle or panoramic lens. The subjective viewpoint would be looking at things with a macro-lens, and taking lots of selfies." Christine Kohler, author of No Surrender Soldier, explains more about objective and subjective viewpoints in this article.

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Next week I'll be reviewing and giving away an ARC of Kathy Wiechman's debut novel, Like a River. After that will be two more posts in this "Writing Tips" series. The next is on story making and the last one is on revision. If you want to chime in on either topic, leave me a comment or send me an email at cbaldwin6@me.com. If I use your nugget, I'll add your name for  a drawing to receive this book:

These are A Few of my Favorite Blogs

With apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein and the strains of "These are a Few of my Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music playing in my head, I thought I'd share some of my favorite writing blogs with you. 

But first, a disclaimer. This list does not include every blog I read. The ones listed here demonstrate excellent writing; they  are consistently great sources of writing instruction and advice; and are ones I point my writing students to.  For the most part, the authors of these blogs don't promote themselves, their books, or their services. They generously provide their expertise to the writing community- both for those who write for children and young adults, and for those who write for adults. 

So, in no particular order and without further fanfare here are my top picks:

Janice Hardy writes fantasy and science fiction for teens, is a former Writer's Digest writing instructor, and offers tremendous writing advice on The Other Side of The Story. My favorite posts are her Real Life Diagnostics;  "a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues." Readers send in their work with questions and Janice diagnoses them on the blog. Thus it is part critique and part example.  As we all know, one of the best ways of learning to write is figuring out what works, what doesn't, and how to change it. Janice generously offers solution to writer's problems. I am looking forward to finishing this draft of Half-Truths and submitting a snippet myself!


Kathy Temean's blog, Writing and Illustrating, was one of the first blogs I started following dedicated to writing and illustrating for children and young adults. Kathy's posts include interviews with agents, authors, and illustrators; publishing news, industry trends, contests, book reviews, and more. Each Saturday she features a different illustrator who shows the process he/she took to create a picture book. These inevitably knock my socks off. I can't draw a decent stick figure and it is a privilege to view the behind-the-scenes work these illustrators put into each drawing.  By the way, Kathy is an author, award winning artist/illustrator, and the Regional Advisor for the NJ SCBWI. I wonder how she has time to breathe. 

I met Lorin Orberweger last year at the Free Expressions Your Best Book Workshop in Charlotte which she coordinated. She is an author, independent book editor, ghost writer, writing instructor, and one of the most encouraging yet "this-is-what-your-manuscript-needs-nail-it-on-the-head-person" I have met in my writing journey. Her Write Line blog includes book reviews, a First Page feedback column, insightful articles about the writing craft, industry information, as well as writing challenges and prompts. 

Janet Reid, the literary agent better known as the Query Shark, is to queries what Janice Hardy is to book snippets. Janet invites writers to submit their queries which she critiques. Once again, writers can learn from her as to what works and what doesn't. I'm not at the query stage yet, but when I get there, I'll be hunting through her blog to glean from her generous instruction. And after I've spit-polished my query, it'll be in her submission queue. 

Emma Darwin is the novelist and short story writer behind This Itch of Writing. Each of her blogs are like mini-writing courses. They are meaty, thought-provoking, and include much of what novelists need to know. In this particular post, Emma lists 13 posts that will help writers get published. I go back and re-read her posts when I am stumped with such tricky questions like psychic distance-which I didn't even know existed until I read her blog!

Jeannie Campbell's blog, The Character Therapist, brings a unique twist to the writing blogosphere. She is a a licensed marriage and family therapist as well as a freelance writer, author, editor, and book reviewer. Her posts provide writers with psychological insights into characters which they might not have considered. Since writing is all about delving into and showing the complexities of people and relationships, Jeannie's blog is a unique source of information. She recently began a series on character archetypes. Don't miss it. 

So, here's a thankful round of applause to all of these bloggers who generously feed the rest of the writing world. 

Now it's your turn. What is your favorite writing blog? 

Two Winners and Some Winning Writing Advice

In another totally random drawing, Rosi Hollinbeck, the SCBWI critique group coordinator for SCBWI in Northern California,  won last week's giveaway contest! A copy of Chris Woodworth's new middle grade book, Ivy in the Shadows is on its way to California. Tracey Adams of Adams Literary kindly offered two copies and the second name I drew was Carolyn Abiad, a member of my SCBWI critique group.  The moral of the story? It pays to follow my blog AND to be a member of SCBWI!

Today I'm offering something different: some advice via Writer's Digest and a link to a fantastic blog post. Both of these resources made me think about upping the ante in my scenes in Half-Truths. Not so coincidentally, this is next week's topic for my "Writing for Children" class at CPCC. 

First, here are seven points about narrative forces from Steven James' article, "Go Organic" in the March/April 2013 issue of Writer's Digest. He outlined the points within the article and then asked corresponding questions in a sidebar. For the sake of this blog, I'm going to list his points and then follow each with his questions to writers. His questions make a great checklist for all of us! Here is the excerpt:

"Imagine a ginat ball of clay being held by a group of people. As one person presses agains the clay, the clay's shape changes.

"The clay is your story; the people surrounding it represent the narrative forces pressing in upon it to shape it. For example:

• Escalation: The tension must continue to escalate scene by scene until it reaches a climax after which nothing is ever the same again. Does this scene ratchet up the tension of the one before it? How can I make things worse?
• Believability: The characters in your story need to act in contextually believable ways. All the time. What would this character naturally do in this situation? Is he properly motivated to take this action?
• Causality: Everything that happens must be caused by the thing that precedes it. Is this event caused by what precedes it? How can what I want to happen bow to what needs to happen for this story to work?
• Scenes and Setbacks: If nothing is altered you not have a scene. If your characters solve something without a setback you do not have a story. Have I inadvertently included scenes just for character development? Are there necessary interludes or moments of reorientation between scenes?
• Inevitability and Surprise: Each scene should end in a way that's unexpected and yet satisfying to readers. The end of every scene must be not only logical but, in retrospect, the only possible conclusion to that scene. Does this scene end in a way that's unexpected and yet inevitable? How can I ensure that readers don't see the twist coming?
• Continuity: Continuity develops through pace (the speed at which things are happening) and narrative energy (the momentum carrying them along). Do my revelations happen at the right moments in the story? Have I used foreshadowing to eliminate coincidences, especially at the climax?
• Genre Conventions: Readers enter a story with expectations based on their understanding of its genre. You need to be familiar enough with genre conventions to meet or exceed those expectations without resorting to cliches. What obligatory scenes are inherent to this genre? How can I render them in a way that's not cliched?

Just in case you need more to think about when you're creating scenes that sizzle, check out Lorin Oberweger's blog on Writing Scenes: Cooking at the Right Temperature. Like James' article, this is also chock full of the reasons you want to write high temperature scenes, and how to accomplish that. 

I read that blog before and during my writing session today. It made me aware of creating conflict between my characters and taking power away from my protagonist (sorry Lillie!). 

What are yours technique to create powerful, reader-gripping scenes? I'd love to hear about them!

When the Teacher Becomes the Student PLUS a Great Giveaway!

My most recent book is Teaching the Story: Fiction Writing in Grades 4-8. Although intended as a teacher's guide for upper elementary and middle school students, I draw upon it when I teach writing classes at Central Piedmont Community College. 

I was looking over this week's class on Creating a Character and found my instructions for students to write "fast" by revealing their characters through their

    F-  Feelings

 A-  Action

 S-  Speech 

     T- Thoughts

Besides teaching, I am also deep into the second draft of my historical young adult novel, Half-Truths. I am fortunate to have Rebecca Petruck as a writing coach; she consistently pushes me to reveal who my characters are. 

Rebecca & I recently talked shop
at the Whole Foods in Wilmington, NC

In my opening chapter I had written a scene where Lillie, my protagonist, overhears her grandmother's employers arguing with one another. I had written:  

“What’s going on?” Lillie asked. 

“Missus Dinsmore is fussing at Mr. Dinsmore like usual,” Big Momma said, fanning herself with her apron. “Telling him that while his grandchildren are visiting he’s got to get his nose out of his books and stop playing around with his glass thingamajigs.”  

Rebecca commented, "We don't have much from her other than to be present and watch what's happening. I want her reaction to things, her interpretation of the world around her. This is her chapter, so we need to get to know her more. [I want to see more] of Lillie's internal experience."

I could have slapped myself "upside the head" (as a character in my book might say). I had forgotten the "T" in FAST. In fact, there wasn't much "F" (feelings/emotion) in this snippet either!

Several rewrites later, this passage now reads:

 In between claps of thunder, Lillie heard bickering coming from the other side of the kitchen wall. “Mr. and Missus Dinsmore fussing again?” Lillie asked. Missus Dinsmore was always acting better than everyone else.  But Lillie had overhead enough arguments to know that she could be as nasty as a barnyard dog.

 Big Momma fanned herself with her apron. “Missus Dinsmore be reminding him to get his nose out of his books and stop playing around with his glass thingamajigs while his grandchildren are visiting.”  Lillie knew exactly what Big Momma was talking about. A few times Mr. Dinsmore had invited her into the library to look at the different colored glass pieces displayed on his shelf. Cullet, he called it. Leftover glass from factories he’d worked at as a boy. Missus Dinsmore didn’t appreciate her husband’s glassmaking stories the way Lillie did. 

I thanked Rebecca for helping me to instill more internalization in my story and she wrote back: 

"I think calling it internalization isn't really correct because it is a very active connection with the protagonist--we are in her mind, trying to process the world, understand the why of things. That's where the story is for us, much less so than the actual stuff that happens." 

Along with providing helpful insights into my manuscript, Rebecca encouraged me to read Wired for Story by Lisa Cron, retyping sections of other books in a similar genre, and reading when the Show, Don't Tell rule may be broken. 

I have learned a great deal working with Rebecca from her critiques as I write, revise, and write again. (Here is a helpful handout from Teaching the Story that demonstrates the revision process.) Her suggestions reminded me of to Lorin Oberweger's handout on Deep Point of View that was part of the Your Best Book packet. And a recent post on Janice Hardy's blog, also offered excellent advice on how to include internalization in your story.

Since Rebecca is such a wonderful writing advocate and coach, she is providing this week's giveaway! She is donating either a ten-page critique of a middle grade or young adult manuscript, or a copy of Wired for Story-winner chooses. I am so pumped about Rebecca's giveaway offer, that I'm giving you TWO chances to win.

• Post this blog on your social media site of choice OR become a new follower of this blog and I'll enter your name once. 
• Post this blog on two different social media sites, OR on one site on two different days, OR become a new follower of this blog AND post it on a social media site and I'll enter your name twice.
• Either way, leave a comment with your email address (if you are new to my blog) with what you did. 
• Winner will be drawn on Saturday evening, February 16th- so get those entries in!

Good luck to all of you and if the winner chooses a critique from Rebecca, get ready to grow your writing and revising skills!

Free Expressions Part V- The Revision Toolbox

In this last blog on the Free Expressions writing seminar, I will highlight a few revision techniques provided by the YA Muses. This group of writers met at the  Big Sur writing conference in 2009 and decided to stay in touch. Although all were unpublished in the YA world, they formed a writing blog to highlight their journeys and within a year they had eleven book contracts between them. 

TaliaVance, Donna Cooner, Veronica Rossi, Bret Ballou
(Katherine Longshore was unable to attend the seminar)

Talia Vance, author of Silver,  creates a chart for each character and outlines scenes with the main character and each minor character. In addition she:

1.  Looks at the character arc for all characters
2. Looks at the relationship arc between characters 
3. Considers where a minor character is in relation to the main character
4. Cuts scenes
5. Sketches out additional scenes

This helpful post of her revision checklist  for WriteOnCon includes many of the points she made during the seminar. 

Donna Cooner, author of Skinny, talked about the importance of creating QBCD: A Quick Brief Character Description when the character first comes into the book. If these introductions are well-crafted they will stick in a reader's mind. Donna uses pictures that she pins to a character board hanging next to her desk.

I played with this idea and came up with: 

Lillie- her skin the color of duck egg shells, black hair tightly curled at the roots

Kate – innocent hazel eyes looking out from a farm face

Sam – dark mahogany skin that glows and throbs outwards, catching you in its circle of beauty

I'm not sure if these will stick, but these word pictures (as well as images I am collecting on my desktop and in Pinterest) will help me portray my characters consistently.

Veronica Rossi, author of Under the Never Sky, recommends setting attainable goals for each month.  "Set yourself up for success," she said. "Give yourself a daily or weekly page or word count. Track your progress. Be as visual and concrete as possible." 

Veronica printed out each draft of her novel and put it in a binder. This way she could visually see her progress. Similarly, after editing or revising a page she folds the page over; a reminder to herself that the page was "done." (At least for that draft!)

To keep herself pumped up, she re-reads old work. "When you get close to a manuscript you're looking for all the mistakes and weaknesses. You get so close that these are the only things you see. Reading old writing can remind you of the point, which is to tell a good story."

Bret Ballou, who writes middle grade fantasy adventures, suggested that distance (the macro level) makes the author more objective. He recommended beginning with an outline and then reevaluating that outline after the draft was done. "Big issues may be resolved with well-crafted, perfectly placed lines."

Bret suggested that writers should break the revision process into buckets in order to focus on one thing at a time. His buckets include: 

1. Plot: step back to see the whole picture
2. Key world details can be cleverly placed without ripping or destroying entire passages.
3. View your ms. in a different font, color, margins, or line spacing in order to step away and see it differently.
4. Listen to your work (for example, on a Kindle) in order to uncover glaring issues.

For more on Mental Revision, see Bret's contribution to WriteOnCon. 

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How am I going to incorporate these ideas into my work? 
1. Set new goals.
2. Be inspired by the YA Muse blog.
3. Pull out some old stories that never saw the light of day but might be perfect for my grandkids. 
4. Review ALL my Free Expression notes when my own work is ready to be revised!

If this series has captured your interest, you'll be happy to hear that Lorin Oberweger and her competent staff will be returning to Charlotte, NC on October 14-20, 2013.  Check the Free Expressions website for more information.

Here are the four previous blogs in this series:
Free Expressions Takeaway Part I- Voice and Deep Point of View
Free Expressions Takeaway Part II- Deep Scene
Free Expressions Takeaway Part III- World Building
Free Expressions Takeaway Part IV- The Quintessential Query