Discovering Tension in "What Happened to Goodbye"- Part II

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In my ongoing blog series about the writing class I'm taking through the Center for Writing Excellence, I learned two new ways to produce tension: Horizontality and Verticality. 

Horizontality, as Bethany Nuckolls instructed,  "refers to narrative that moves chronologically."

Verticality "happens when multiple events or times are present in the same narrative moment."

Our assignment was to find examples of tension in our reading novel.  McLean, the protagnoist in What Happened to Goodbye? is both drawn to her next-door neighbor, David, but also afraid of getting involved in any type of lasting relationship because she and her father always leave town. This passage comes immediately after a scene in which he is close enough to kiss her but doesn’t; the talk and action subsequently turns to basketball.   

Here is the passage I chose; my analysis follows.   

  He sat up, choosing to ignore this. “You know, you talk this tough game and everything. But I know the truth about you.”

     “And what’s that again?” I said, getting to my feet.

     “Secretly,” he said, “you want to play with me. In fact, you need to play with me. Because deep down, you love basketball as much as I do.”

     “Loved,” I said. “Past tense.”

      “Not true.” He walked around my deck, grabbing a broom there and using the handle to fish around beneath.” (Horizontality) “I saw how you squared up. There was love there.”

     “You saw love in my shot,” I said, clarifying.

     “Yeah.” He banged the broomstick again, and the ball came rolling out slowly, toward me. “I mean it’s not surprising, really. Once you love something, you always love it in some way. You have to. It’s, like, part of you for good.”

     I wondered what he meant by this, and in the next beat, found myself surprised by the image that suddenly popped into my head: me and my mom, on a windy beach in winter, searching for shells as the wave crashed in front of us. (Verticality) I picked up the ball and threw it to him.

     “You ready to play?” Dave asked, bouncing it.

     “I don’t know,” I said. “Are you going to cheat?”

      “It’s street ball!” he said, checking it to me. “Show me that love.”

       So cheesy, I thought. But as I felt it, solid against my hands, I did feel something. I wasn’t sure it was love. Maybe what remained of it, though, whatever that might be. “All right,” I said.
“Let’s play.” (p. 273)

  

I think this is the original cover; I like it best!

Analysis: Dessen probably used the verb “fishing” purposefully to describe David’s action of getting the ball out from under the deck. This fits in nicely with McLean’s flashback of her and her mother at the beach, searching for shells.  Horizontality is shown in his three chronological actions of retrieving the ball.

I think verticality is achieved when there is something about David’s words about love that trigger her memory of her mother. Although McLean is trying hard to distance herself from her mother, memories of pleasant and loving times keep popping up. Her mother, like it or not, “is with her for good,” as the rest of the novel attests to.

Tension is created because it takes McLean the entire page to decide if she will play basketball with David. Her slow deliberation over what he has said to her intensifies the conflict for the reader (who of course wants her to say “yes!”).

The chapter ends with a cliff-hanger letting the reader know that McLean is indeed, allowing herself to “play” and get involved with David.

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Now you try it. Has an author you have read included tension in her novel? How have you included it in your own work?

Plot Elements and What Happened to Goodbye: Part I

Congratulations to Ann Eisenstein who received a copy of Odette's Secrets in last week's giveaway.

In this ongoing mini-series of blog posts, I share more nuggets from my online writing class, Plot and Structure, with instructor Bethany Nuckolls.  

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As our class proceeded into analyzing Act II of our novels, Bethany explained the concept of Shock: “Shock is the moment when the protagonist’s world comes crashing down, their ideals prove to have a fatal flaw, their companions betray them, or their desire proves to be short of expectations.  This is the darkest moment in their journey thus far.  For the first time, success will seem impossible.  Doubt becomes certainty, bringing about the third point of Act II: the Critical Choice.” 

Since I had just finished listening to What Happened to Goodbye? by Sarah Dessen, I decided to use that to discuss this concept and  explore why I felt the book was emotionally compelling. I have included some of the previously discussed plot elements as well. 

McLean, the 17-year-old protagonist, chooses to live with her father after he and her mother divorce. Her father’s job is helping faltering restaurants to either survive or close.  In the last two years, McLean has gone into each new school and established a new identity for herself along with a new name.  At one school she is a drama diva, at another a cheerleader, and most recently the student council secretary. Along with new names, McLean makes sure she never got attached to any of her friends since she knows she will be leaving soon.  This is her Stasis (original state).

She moves to a new school (Trigger)  and her pattern changes when she “accidentally” introduces herself as McLean and allows herself to develop new friends and a special friendship with the boy next door, Dave. As Dave and her group of friends work on putting together a model of the town (a superb example of an objective correlative of McLean’s life) she builds relationships and enjoys eating at one of the girl’s homes (Food, and the lack of eating together with her father is another objective correlative). When her friends look on a popular social media website, and discover that her email address is associated with four different names, they question who McLean really is--a question she is already asking herself. They react with distrust and she sinks into self-doubt.

I don’t remember if I cried at this point (although something in this book triggered tears); Dessen built up to this Shock point very cleverly and logically, but it still took me by surprise. McLean’s sense of loss when she realizes she has betrayed her friends by not revealing these past “selves” totally makes sense. It is definitely her "Point of No Return." After this, the book moves into the end of Act II when McLean faces her Critical Choice: Will she join her father when his next job takes him to Hawaii, or will she find a way to finish her senior year with her friends? 

After I posted my analysis, Bethany commented, “Indeed, the Shock is not necessarily supposed to shock the reader (via the definition of "surprise"). Rather it shocks the lead character, and if the reader has drawn close enough to that character in the meantime, it should emotionally affect the reader as well.

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Next week I'll continue my review of this beautifully-written young adult novel and will share examples of the tension elements which Dessen employed.