Free Expressions Takeaway Part IV: Quintessential Queries

As every serious writer knows, the road to publication begins with crafting a memorable query. This fundamental tool of the writing trade must have muscle: its job is to capture an agent's or editor's interest, give a quick overview of your work, plus reflect your book's tone and your personality. 

And of course, all of this is accomplished in 300 well-crafted words or less. 

Tracey and Josh Adams of Adams Literary taught our class on creating quintessential queries. Their agency receives over 10,000 queries a year.  Agent Quinlan Lee reads them super fast and red flags the ones their agency might have interest in. Your objective, as a writer is to get that red flag!

The Quintessential Couple
Tracey and Josh Adams

"The goal of a query is to get your work noticed," Josh said. "It's just like a bookstore; you want a reader to pick your book off the shelf."

How can a writer accomplish this? According to Josh, you must:

1. Find your “hook.” 
2. Keep it short. Get to the heart of your book quickly.
3. Make it relevant. Only give important information that the agent will care about. 
4. Reflect your personality. Be yourself.  Put yourself out there (but not in embarrassing way!) 
5. Send your best work, but keep in mind that it is "ready to submit" rather than "done."

As a gift to my readers, Tracey and Josh have generously shared their Do's and Don'ts of Queries. 

During the week each participant in this Free Expressions seminar received critique time with Lorin Oberweger, Brenda Windberg as well as consultation time with Emma Dryden and Nancy Conescu.

I used my time with Emma to review my query. I was happy to hear that my beginning, in which I reminded the editor of her interest in my manuscript; and my ending, where I listed my relevant writing experiences, were both solid.

But the middle--in which I gave a synopsis of my book--needed work. Within 15 minutes Emma and I had brainstormed a paragraph that not only concisely describes my book, but in the process, I also learned more about my characters and plot. 

What's the moral of this story? Not only is writing a quintessential query your foot into an agent's door (or in-box), but writing it before you finish your manuscript may help you define your book and push forward.

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Next week will be my final blog post in this series. Advice and tricks on revision will be brought to you by the YA Muses. 

If you missed the other blogs in this series, here they are:
Free Expressions Takeaway Part I- Voice and Deep Point of View
Free Expressions Takeaway Part II- Deep Scene
Free Expressions Takeaway Part III- World Building

Free Expressions Takeaway Part III: Building Imaginary Worlds

I used to think world building just pertained to creating a science fiction or fantasy world. And although it is generally associated with those genres, all novelists must create believable, fictional worlds in which reader immerses themselves.  

For example, even though Half-Truths takes place in a "real" time and place-- Charlotte, NC in the 1950's--I must show the sights, sounds, smells, textures, emotional tone, and sociological and political atmosphere of the two areas of the city in which my story unfolds. There is historical data which helps me construct this world such as this 1939 article from The Charlotte Observer:

It is my job as a novelist to weave this information into the fabric of the world I am building. What will it mean to my white and black characters that there is a separate hospital for Negroes? A lot. 
Here are a few takeaways from Brenda Windberg's class on world  building:

• Consider the psychological and political world of your character. There is always someone who has power and people who rebel.
• The structure of your character's existence will create the context of your story.
• Describe concrete, highly specific worlds. It should be fully immersive because of the high level of specificity.  Brenda used the Harry Potter Theme Park as an example of the huge amount of details which JK Rowling included in her books; this makes the theme park a totally immersive experience. 
• Writers must ask questions such as: "What if?" "Why" and "Why not?" Find the boundaries of your world--which is more than just a physical world. 
• Brenda's advice: "The rules and parameters of your character’s emotional reality can set the tone for your world."
•  Use details in a way that adds emotional content. Let them show a purpose. The place the character’s eye goes to is what you record. “Let your character react to details, don’t note them.”
•  Limit what the reader needs to know to propel the story forward. Weave this through your story. Readers want to experience the world as they come into it. 

Our incredible Free Expressions leaders:
Lorin Oberweger and Brenda Windberg

Brenda generously shared her two handouts from the class. You can access them here:
World Building Exercises
Description as a World Building Tool 

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Since  I have a lot to say about writing a tight query letter, I'm going to save that for the next blog post. 

If you missed the first two blogs in this series, here they are:
Free Expressions Takeaway Part I- Voice and Deep Point of View
Free Expressions Takeaway Part II- Deep Scene

Free Expressions Takeaway Part II: Creating Deep Scenes

Lorin Oberweger, the Free Expressions maven, taught our next "Your Best Book" class on Deep Scene.  As most writers recognize, scenes are the fundamental structural unit of every novel. “Every scene involves some type of negotiation between two people. A character wants something and has to strategize and bargain to achieve what he/she wants,” Lorin said. Conceptualized in this manner, each chapter may include several scenes.

The novelist’s job is to create interesting times and places in which the characters live and breathe. Lorin asked us, “How does the time and place impact your viewpoint character? Do they have psychological meaning for your character?” Novelists must identify and show the idiosyncratic details that their protagonist sees.

Writers need to define the inciting incident, which happens before the scene and propels the scene forward. Like falling dominoes, each scene should create the need for next scene. According to Lorin, “Your characters must put themselves up a tree, hate it, and want to get down.” As she pointed out to me in my WIP, “a protagonist must do more than just react to the moment.”

The character’s practical and emotional goals need to be their own goals, not the author’s. (Does this resonate with any other writer besides me?) As I mentioned last week, Lorin pointed out that my main characters were missing obtainable goals which will propel them through Half-Truths. Probing Lillie, my light-skinned African American 15-year-old, I discovered that she wants to become a doctor. 

Every novelist wants to write a page turner. In order to do that, writers must infuse each scene with opposition: the friction, obstacles, and conflicts which characters encounter as they try to meet their goals. What conflicts will Lillie meet in trying to meet her goal? In the South in the 1950's she will meet plenty and she will need strategies--ways to get around the opposition-to turn her dreams into reality.

But, as writers we don't want our characters to immediately achieve their goals--the book wouldn't be a page turner if we did that! So, each scene also needs swings; shifts in strategy when the character is trying to achieve her goal.  

Beats are emotional and psychological turns which the character must take in order to meet her goal. In other words, what changes will Lillie face--what sacrifices might she have to make--in order to accomplish her goal? She and I are still figuring that out.

Finally, each scene needs an outcome. "Most scenes should create a need for another scene. The thing that the character thought she wanted will come at a cost and create complications," Lorin said. "It'll be 'yes, but no.'" 

Breaking down my book into scenes has helped me tremendously. You can create note cards using these headings, as well as any other scene elements you would like to include, print them on card stock, and fill out one per scene. 

Next week we'll look at building imaginary worlds and tight queries. 

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Here are two more of Lorin's handouts which complement this material:
Scene Response Sheet

Making Sense of Scenes

High Temperature Plotting

Four YBB participants taking a break
from creating deep scenes. 

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If you missed last week's post, here is the first blog in this series:  Free Expressions Takeaway Part I: Voice and Deep Point of View. 

Free Expressions Takeaway Part I: Voice & Deep Point of View

 Last week, I joined fifteen other middle grade and young adult writers in an intense week of writing instruction orchestrated by  Lorin Oberweger, founder of Free Expressions seminars.  As we learned throughout the week, our books need to be closely seen and experienced through our character's point-of-view. Accordingly, in my next 5 or 6 blog posts I plan to experience the seminar through my point-of-view. I plan to share some of the writing craft points as well as feedback I received on Half-Truths. 

As Emma Dryden, an experienced editor and children's publishing professional,  said on our last day together when she gave us an overview of the digital landscape of publishing, "Buckle your seat belts, and get ready for the ride!"

When we introduced each other during our Saturday night get together, we were asked what superpower we wished we could have. After a moment's thought I replied, "I would like to be able to heal old hurts." My unexpected tears told me I had struck a chord. That bit of self-realization--that applies both to my life and my book--was a tremendous way for me to begin this seminar. 

My week began on Monday morning with much anticipated classes on Voice and Deep Point of View. Emma Dryden said, "Voice turns an "anyone" into a "someone." An author must employ word choice, sentence structure, vernacular, slang, idioms, to create the "poetry of speech." 

Emma Dryden

She told us that, "Voice helps identify characters in a setting. It lies beneath the actual words the characters use."  Underneath those words, our characters' bodies and eyes may say something else. "The emotions, motivations, fears, hopes, desires, internal trajectory of your characters should all be expressed through dialogue, actions, and thoughts." 

Going into the week I had wondered if my characters were exhibiting voice. Overwhelming feedback from my critique group and response to our daily writing prompts answered that question with a deep resounding "Yes!" So good to know. 

Later Monday morning, Lorin Oberweger, the mastermind and talented wordsmith behind Free Expressions, taught us about deep point of view. She introduced her class with the words, "Seduction—not instruction." In a nutshell, deep POV is about, "Creating a immersive rich environment on the page that seduces the reader. You want your reader to lose herself in your book." Writers want to avoid "Instruction" with a more distance POV that’s more authorial.  

Lorin Oberweger

As much as possible, writers need to see the world through their characters' eyes and experiences. The more we are inside our characters' skin, the greater our ability to write how their emotions dictate their responses. Lorin told us to use rich details to show who they are, what they love, and how their passions filter through their language and experiences. 

Later that afternoon, I had my one-to-one critique time with Lorin. She had many great things to say about my manuscript (Yeah!) but helped me to see some holes too (double yeah!). Both of my characters need clear external goals which they are striving for. And since they are fifteen-year-olds in the 1950's, my job is to show how they think about the world and their relationships in a more complicated manner that is also appropriate to their time period. Their passions and desires need to surface through their actions, thoughts, and dialogue. And not just their anger (which apparently I have down pretty well!)--but also their soft spots and sympathies. 

A tall order. 

But after a week with the staff of Free Expressions, I am excited to dig in and make this happen.

Now, back to work. 

Lorin Oberweger, Brenda Windberg, Emma Dryden, & me!

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Lorin has generously allowed me to share some of her handouts with all of you.  Here is the first one,  Deep Point of View. Click "download file now" and it will open as a PDF file. 

Next week in Part II of this series, I'll share what I learned about creating deep scenes and how Gary Provost's sentence can shape your WIP. 

Help Me Out and Win a Great Book!

To my chagrin, ads have suddenly appeared on my blog that I have not put there. If anyone happens to know how to get them off, please email me! I find this incredibly annoying and I have no idea how to remove them.

The first person to help me successfully remove these annoying ads-- will win an autographed copy of Joyce Hostetter's book, BLUE-- just for helping me out !! 

Multi-Racial Read #8: Caucasia

I am reading multi-racial books as part of my research for my work-in-progress, Half-Truths. If you are interested in reading the previous posts, you can search this blog under "multi-racial" (upper top left corner)

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When a upper-middle class white woman marries a black academic activist in Boston in the 1970's, there are bound to be problems that the two of them had not anticipated. Their two daughters are extremely close, despite the fact that the oldest (Cole) is dark like her father and the youngest (Birdie Lee) can pass as white. Both are raised to think of themselves as black, but predictably, Cole is more accepted within the black community and Birdie, much to her consternation, is favored by her rich maternal grandmother. 


When their parents split up, Birdie goes with her mother who takes on a fabricated Jewish name and history. Birdie (now re-named  "Jesse Goldman") continues to struggle with her racial and personal identity. As a result of her radical political affiliations, Birdie's mother is on the run always expecting that the FBI is going to find her out. Using their false identities, the two settle down in a small town in New Hampshire. This struggle to understand if her mother truly is wanted by the police, adds to Birdie's alienation and her desire to return to her Boston roots to find her father and sister.


Eventually, Birdie leaves New Hampshire and runs away to Boston. Here is a snippet which eloquently shows the struggles she faced:


"The name Jesse had been a lie but as I walked home that day, I wasn't quite sure the girl Jesse had been such a lie....Maybe I had actually become Jesse, and it was this girl, this Birdie Lee who haunted these streets, searching for ghosts, who was the lie....I missed the soft country earth and the dingy little town I had come to think of as my own. The missing scared me. It made feel a little contaminated. I wondered if whiteness were contagious. If it were, then surely I had caught it. I imagined this 'condition' affected the way I walked, talked, dressed, danced, and at its most advanced stage, the way I looked at the world and at other people." (p. 280)


As she looks upon a younger bi-racial child who is also living without her father, Birdie fantasizes her own perfect (yet unobtainable) future: "Maybe it would be easier for her. Maybe her father and her mother would share her between them and she would become the perfect blend of two rich cultures, moving effortlessly between the two worlds." (p. 287)


Although Birdie Lee, is a teenager, in my mind, this is not a book for young adults. The strength of this book is how the author, Danzy Senna, honestly exposes (issues) of race, prejudice, and identity.  As a Christian, I think the weakness of this book is its abundance of obscenities and frank approval of outside of marriage sexual encounters. 


That being said, Caucasia is a powerful story to help adults further understand the experiences and confused emotions of a bi-racial child. 

My Next Big Thing

My friend and role model, Joyce Hostetter, tagged me last week in a work-in-progress meme called, "The Next Big Thing." You can read about Joyce's WIP here, and since I've had the privilege of reading parts of it, I can tell you that it will be great!

Now it's my turn to answer eight questions and then to tag several authors. Here we go:

What is the working title of your book? Half-Truths. 

Where did the idea for the book come from? That's a long story. I visited Wing Haven gardens with my youngest daughter about 15 years ago. At the time I thought it would make a great picture book but found that there were too many stories for that genre. Then I thought I would take some of the real stories about this bird sanctuary and write a book for young boys. My son-in-law said there was not enough blood and guts in a story about children rescuing a robin for boy readers today. Now Wing Haven is the quiet sanctuary where both main characters find refuge.

Joyce had shared Carolyn Yoder's advice to "write the story in your own backyard." I started thinking about how the same last name for both blacks and whites were on signs all around Charlotte, NC. Obviously there was a connection there. I visited the Rosenwald school in the Grier Heights community and noticed the pictures of many several light-skinned principals. That day I spoke with two gentlemen which further stimulated my thinking about the connections between white and African American families in Charlotte. 

One to two sentence synopsis of the book: In Charlotte in 1950, two teenage girls--one black and one white-- break racial restrictions, uncover family secrets, and discover they are second cousins.   
  

What else about the book might peak the readers' interest?
I think that many young adult readers today don't fully realize the problems that African Americans faced before integration. Lillie, the light-skinned African American girl, will flirt with the idea of passing as a way to get everything that whites have. The white girl, Kate, has her own set of problems as she doesn't fit in with the debutante lifestyle her grandmother wants her to have. I am hoping that these issues of "belonging" will resonate with today's readers. There is also an unlikely romance threaded throughout the book. 

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
I have no plans to self-publish and will look for agency representation after it is as close to perfect as I can get it--with the help of many critique partners!

How long did it take you to write the first draft of the story?
That is a REALLY hard question to answer! I had many starts and stops along the way as I had a hard time figuring out where my story began. As a result, I spent a lot of time writing what I now understand to have been the back story. In 2008 Joyce challenged me to participate in NaNoWriMo. I had already been working on this novel, but that helped me spill more of the guts of this book. By the end of 2010 I had completed my first draft. At the SCBWI-Carolinas conference in 2011, my critiquer was Mary Cate Castellani. She suggested that I write my story from both girls' points of view. That was a major shift in my thinking and writing and it took about nine months of working on and off with Rebecca Petruck to come up with a really good outline. I am now over half-way through this draft; which is tighter and better than any of the previous drafts! 

What other books would you compare it to in this genre? This is a scary question because I don't want to feel presumptuous at all. Since it deals with issues of segregation I'd like for readers to think of To Kill a Mockingbird--but I hesitate to even admit that since that is such a Southern classic! Since it deals with a light-skinned young woman passing, I also think of Flygirl by Sherri Smith, although that takes place about five years earlier. When I have described the book to others, some adults have thought that it was The Help for teens, but the books are very different. 

What actors would you chose to play a movie rendition? I am not a movie person, so I couldn't begin to answer this question. But Price Davis, my 92-year-old African American expert keeps telling me to hurry up and finish the book because he wants to see the movie! Now, that's encouragement!

Price Davis, outside his childhood home.

OK, now it's your turn Gretchen Griffith, Becky Levine, Bonnie Doerr, Donna Earnhardt, Augusta Scattergood, and Niki Schoenfeldt. If you want to play along and share with the world what your next Big Thing is--we want to hear it!

This n' That

Here are two events I'd like to share with you, one in Charlotte and one on-line.

The first is Bibliofeast, an evening of dinner, conversation, and hob-nobbing with authors.  The dinner is at Maggiano's (one of our favorite restaurants) and the authors are:

• Charlotte mystery writer Mark deCastrique, whose latest novel is "The 13th Target."

• Emily Colin of Wilmington, whose debut novel is the "The Memory Thief."

• S.C. novelist Mary Glickman, author of "One More River" and "Home in the Morning."

• Charlotte's Judy Goldman, a novelist and poet whose new memoir is "Losing My Sister."

• Brooklyn novelist Shira Nayman, author of "A Mind of Winter."

• Elena Passarello, whose essay collection, "Let Me Clear My Throat," explores memorable moments in the history of the human voice.

• Wendy Welch, author of "The Little Bookstore of Big Stone Gap," a memoir of owning a book store in Big Stone Gap, Va.

You can buy tickets, $45 for WNBA members and $55 for nonmembers, at Park Road Books, 4139 Park Road, or online at www.WNBA-Charlotte.org. More information: susan.walker.books@gmail.com, 704-439-4596 or 612-382-5868.

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Second, for all of you who are writers and illustrators, Kathy Temean is hosting a "First Pages" contest on her blog. Illustrators are also encouraged to submit their work. Enter your writing or illustration and tell Kathy I sent you!

Read more here: http://readinglifeobs.blogspot.com/2012/10/dinner-books-conversation-its-bibilofest.html#storylink=cpy