Re-Vision

Congratulations to Joan Edwards who won a critique from Gayle Krause from last week's blog.

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You pick up a book at the library or bookstore and start reading it. Maybe it catches your interest, maybe it doesn't. But one thing is for sure, if you're not a writer, you have no idea how much time and effort have gone into writing that book.

Maybe even years.

FEEDBACK

The last time I blogged about Half-Truths, I was excitedly sending my manuscript to beta readers. Since then I have received feedback from teens, adults, critique partners, and several sensitivity readers. I learned that Kate's character wasn't developed enough and there wasn't enough tension in the first half of the book. I was well into revision when I heard back from my last sensitivity reader. 

Here are some of her comments:

Since you are in the process of revising now, I wanted to take a few moments to share some macro-level thoughts you might take into consideration as you work. I know you have been working on this labor of love for more than 10 years and you probably feel that it is close to where you want it. If that is the case, I'm sure you're hoping to enter the submissions process sooner rather than later, so feel free to keep the following comments as reference material in the event that you don't find an editor for the manuscript. 

My first suggestion is to consider writing this manuscript from the perspective of Kate alone. Your grasp of Kate's life and voice are more authentic than your grasp of Lillie's and honestly, I'm not sure a sensitivity reader is going to be able to help you add the authenticity needed. At best, we can alert you to potential areas of offense--but even in that, it won't be full-proof because African-Americans are not a monolith and things I might not flag as offensive might turn out to be offensive to others. Which brings me to my next point....

Your writing HALF-TRUTHS from Lillie's perspective might not go over well in today's social and political climate. The movement for "own voices" (which I admittedly support) grows stronger by the day, and people of color are hyperaware of works being published by white people that star POC main characters. Yes you have two main characters, but Lillie is especially main. The book even opens from her perspective. The honest truth is that even if you got Lillie's story 90% right, you would likely get called out for the 10% of missteps. Because I know you personally, I know your intentions with this story are nothing but honorable (and I think your overall plot is interesting). I would hate for your book to end up the target of a negative campaign because of inadvertent missteps. For many reasons, today's kidlit atmosphere is fraught, and the cultural scrutiny/backlash of this moment is pretty unrelenting. There is no patience for mistakes of any kind. 

Her feedback stopped me cold.

I was shocked, overwhelmed and discouraged. I first wrote Half-Truths from Kate's POV and would never have considered writing it any other way if an editor hadn't suggested the two points-of-view during a SCBWI-Carolinas conference. 

Did I really have to start all over again? Did I waste eight years pursuing an unreachable goal? Were all these books and all of my expert interviews with African Americans a waste of time?

Even bigger, how was I going to face people in my family, like my brother who never failed to ask, "So, how is the book coming along? You ready to publish it?" And how would I tell you, my faithful blog followers?  I felt like a failure. 

ADVICE AND VIRTUAL HUGS

I shared my news with my writing friends who commiserated, advised, and told stories of their own not-so-smooth path to publication. Linda Phillips (author of CRAZY) said she had worried about me taking on the black POV but figured an editor would give me that feedback. Joyce Hostetter wrote, "Don’t forget that I have abandoned two books that I spent about 4 years each on.  And I have lots of other abandoned projects from back before BLUE.  That might be called failure but I learned tons while writing those books.  So I call it an education."

Augusta Scattergood said, "After almost eight years of writing, revising, and submitting, I was critiqued by an agent I truly clicked with at an SCBWI regional conference in Maryland. She eventually decided that novel (which would much later become my second published book, THE WAY TO STAY IN DESTINY) wasn't for her. A year later, I dusted off GLORY BE, sent it to her, and the rest is my publishing history."

I chatted with Kathy Wiechman, author of the award winning book, LIKE A RIVER, on Facebook. After reminding me that this was an opportunity to make my book better she said,"Enjoy working on the revision. That is my favorite part of the process, and I do truly enjoy it. It was that love of doing it that helped me stick with it for 39 years of not being chosen."

Rebecca Petruck, who read multiple drafts of the story and loved the two points-of-view, checked with her agent to make sure I should follow this advice. She also suggested I ask an industry professional. We both received the same response: This wasn't a good time for me, a white author, to write from Lillie's POV. 

What was next? Should I trash this project and start something new? But I loved my premise and every time I shared the pitch with strangers, their eyes got big and they'd say, "Wow!"

While my brother was more empathetic than I expected, my sister, Barbara, advised:

• You may need to develop a new way of seeing this story.
• There’s not something wrong with you that you're starting over.  
• The process is as important as the product.

RE-VISION

I took a week off--I had important family concerns to attend to--and then reread a book that a member of my critique group gave me. 

Published in 1957, the twelve essays were a response to the Supreme court's "edict" (as one writer described it) of 1954. The Brown vs. Board of Education decision led to school desegregation. This largely anti-integration pamphlet was written predominantly by white men (three women are listed in the table of contents, I presume all the authors were white because of the point of view they espoused). 

Suddenly, I realized that any of these anti-integration writers could have been Kate's grandfather. Growing up in rural North Carolina in the 40's with him, racism would have been as much a part of Kate's environment as raising goats and attending 4-H. 

Eureka! 

I spent another week re-outlining and figuring out how and what Kate would learn from Lillie and how Kate's backstory is going to impact Half-Truths and, voila--I'm back in business.

Whenever I teach writing, I use this graphic organizer from my previous book, TEACHING THE STORY: Fiction Writing in Grades 4-8.

The  Writing-Revising Cycle

(Click here for your copy of this handout.)

As I re-vision and rewrite Half-Truths as Kate's story, I'm back at the "Start", but yet I'm not. All the information I've gleaned and all those previous drafts aren't worthless-they will enrich my story. 

Thanks to all of you for your support. Your encouragement on my journey means more to me than you can imagine. 

Stay tuned!

Making Friends With Billy Wong-- BONUS GIVEAWAY!

In conjunction with this week's review of MAKING FRIENDS WITH BILLY WONG Augusta Scattergood is giving away an autographed copy of this timely book. 

Please leave your name (and email address if you are new to this blog) by 7 PM Saturday, February 11. If you are a teacher, home educator, or librarian,  let me know in your comment and I'll enter your name twice!

Making Friends with Billy Wong by Augusta Scattergood: A Review with Help from David Corbett

Congratulations to my fellow blogger, Clara Gillow Clark, who won a copy of TWICE BETRAYED on last week's blog. Stay tuned friends, I have lots more giveaways coming up!

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One of the writing blogs I follow is Writer Unboxed. When I find an article by one of their contributors in Writer's Digest, I pay extra attention. 

Soon after completing Augusta Scattergood's middle grade novel, MAKING FRIENDS WITH BILLY WONG (Scholastic Press, 2016),  I read David Corbett's article "To Change or Not to Change?"(Writer's Digest, January, 2017). Thanks to Corbett, I found a terrific template to review Augusta's book. (Quotes from his article are in bold.)

Every story implicitly asks two simple questions: 1) What happened? and 2) Why? These questions may remain unanswered, but they cannot be escaped...we need to keep in mind what Les Edgerton means when he says every story is about the same thing--trouble--or what Steven James means when he says that stories are not about what happened, they're about what went wrong. (Writer's Digest, pp. 26, 27)

For Azalea Morgan, the protagonist in MAKING FRIENDS, her life goes wrong in the first paragraph: 

All it took to send my summer on the road to ruin was a fancy note and a three-cent stamp. The minute that envelope showed up, Mama was packing my suitcase. (p. 1)

The reader quickly discovers the three types of problems which Corbett says characters try to answer:

• External challenges: tasks in pursuit of a goal in the physical world. 

For Azalea, that means surviving a summer in Arkansas without her best friend and being asked to help a cranky grandmother she doesn't really know.  

• Internal questions: doubt concerning deep-seated issues such as one's worth, purpose, nature, identity--in which characters are forced to ask, Who am I? What kind of person do I want to be? 

Azalea doesn't make friends easily and when she finds out her grandmother expects her to be friends with Billy Wong, the local grocer's grand nephew, Azalea thinks,

Like it or not, I was going to meet more people than I was ever friends with back in Texas. (p. 26)

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Would this Billy Wong boy want to talk to me? Did we speak the same language? I wasn't so great at talking to ordinary boys back home--boys who didn't look like they'd just arrived from some faraway country. Mama says I'll get over that talking-to-boys thing. I doubt I'll get over it this summer in Paris Junction, Arkansas. (p. 29) 

• Interpersonal Relationships: efforts to grow closer to or distance oneself from another character or characters. 

In spite of her doubts about being friends with a Chinese boy, Azalea begins to see the ostracism Billy faces. That, along with his friendliness, draws the two together. After they get ice cream at the drug store, Billy asks her if she wants to bike at the creek or hunt turtles. 

If I hadn't already talked more than I'd talked in my entire lifetime to a boy, I'd be explaining that no, I will not be exploring a creek. I will be fixing dinner and watering Grandma Clark's garden till the cows come home....Even though it was easy eating ice cream together, I had a hard time picturing being good friends with a boy. Especially one so different. 

But today was fun. So I looked right at Billy Wong, and I answered, "Maybe." (p. 64)

In the Writers Digest article David Corbett wrote, 

When a protagonist of any kind changes, it's usually because the struggles and conflicts he has faced have forged a different understanding of himself, his abilities and/or his world, including the people in it. (p. 28)

By the mid-point of the book, Azalea is calling Billy her friend. She is also surprising herself by becoming braver than she ever had been in Texas. She discovers hidden truths about Willis, the town bully, as well as about her grandmother. These discoveries spawn new actions.  

Despite her fears, towards the end of the book Azalea climbs up her grandmother's tree behind Willis, who has been throwing acorns down on her and Billy. She asks:

"You doing this because you're mad at me? What'd I do?"

"This was my tree till that Chinese boy came. Now every time I climb it, he's around." 

When a breeze rustled the tree's leaves, I grabbed hold of a thicker branch and held on. "Ever think about being friends with Billy?" I asked, still not quite believing I was perched in a tree with Willis DeLoach. (p. 173)

With that interaction, the reader knows that Azalea is well on the way to growing and changing. 

Like Kirby Larson's LIBERTY, Augusta Scattergood inserted poems from Billy's point of view. Her sparse use of language gets to the heart of how Billy is feeling. This is one of my favorites:

Keeping Notes on Lucky Foods, My Private File

The screen door pushes open.

The bell ting-a-lings.

A white man steps inside, tall, frowning.

Hat pulled close over his forehead.

Eyes darting fast

from Kay's Cookies to Dum Dum suckers,

cash register to cigar boxes.

"Need me some garden fertilizer," he snarls.

"Near the fishing lines," I answer, nicely.

He draws his words out.

"Bologna? Cheese? Bread?"

"Right this way, sir," I say.

I reach into the cool case of cheese and lunch meat.

Weigh a thick wedge of cheddar.

Punch the cash register's round buttons.

Hand the man groceries.

Watch him leave.

He'll go in my stories.

Mixed together with

track meets,

Future Farmers,

Student Council,

dusting soup cans,

pricing crushable cracker boxes.

And new friends.              
Property of Billy Wong, Spy (p. 123)

Corbett concludes the article, 

Look to your story to determine whether your main characters must change, and the degree of change they will undergo. Change is by no means a requirement--but when the story leads to self-examination, or revolves around a relationship, it is all but inevitable that the action will create the re-evaluation of self that we equate with change. (p.29)

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Teachers and home school educators: Augusta just posted her classroom discussion guide on her website. You can download it here.

Augusta and I have been Facebook friends for several years.
We enjoyed meeting in person a few weeks ago, half-way between our homes in Florida.
We talked about books and writing for three hours-
and now I have a new "real" friend!

The Way to Stay in Destiny- A Review and an Audio CD Giveaway!

The minute sixth-grader Theo Thomas gets off the bus and arrives in Destiny, Florida with his Uncle Raymond, I’m right there with him. Award winning author AugustaScattergood, uses great details to pull readers into the character and setting: Theo grabs his bags, baseball mitt and a tattered book, Everything You Want to Know About Baseball; the heat hits him like a slap in the face; diesel fumes whoosh around him; he encounters slithery gray stuff hanging from the trees; and no "old men in shorts and flip-flops" meet him and his uncle at the Marathon gas station. 

Theo’s shakes his head at the banner stretching across the street, Destiny, Florida: The Town Time Forgot and wonders, “Man, what am I doing here?”

Writers are encouraged to start a story at the moment in the character’s life when things change. True to that advice, Augusta starts this book with the fact that Theo’s life has taken a turn for the worse. As the story moves forward and Theo becomes acquainted with his new hometown, the reader finds out that he lived with his maternal grandparents on their Kentucky farm since his parents died in an accident when he was four. His Vietnam vet uncle had to come back from his happy life in Alaska to sell the farm, put his parents in a nursing home, and take care of him. Raymond resents it all.

At the same time that his uncle lays down the law about how life is going to be now that he's in charge, Theo is busy discovering that downstairs from his room in Miss Sister Grandersole's Rooming House and Dance Academy, there is a beautiful piano. He also makes the acquaintance of Anabel Johnson, who would rather be playing baseball than taking tap dance lessons. 

The piano is like a magnet to Theo and despite his uncle's displeasure, he can't keep his hands off of it. Miss Sister recognizes Theo's special talent to play music by ear, but all his uncle can say is, "No one but a fool wastes his time playing a piano."

Although this is Theo’s story of discovering a way to make a life without his grandparents in a new city, it is equally about Raymond coming to grips with his Vietnam nightmares and sorrows. I loved how slowly his backstory is revealed and how Theo discovers his uncle's hurts as an unappreciated Vietnam veteran. Their reconciliation is beautiful and authentic without being sappy or maudlin. 

I appreciated the way in which Augusta wove together the strands of the other character's stories. Besides Uncle Raymond's story, other sub-plots include Anabel's passion for baseball and her determination to uncover part of Destiny's history; and Miss Sister’s dancing dreams, which turned out different than she expected.

I also loved that Theo was as passionate about playing the piano as he was about practicing baseball. These two strands create a very unique character. 

There are too many great lines from this book for me to quote, but here are a few: 

• "Music Makes Memories" the sign in Sister's practice room. The sign provides great subtext for the novel.
• When Theo plays the piano he describes it as "music jumping out of his fingers."
• Uncle Raymond: "I don't know nothing about raising kids. Especially ones that remind me of the bad times."
• Theo: "I'll start acting like family when you do."
• Uncle Raymond: "I hate everything that happened. I hate you having no one but me."

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Why did Augusta Scattergood name the town Destiny? Why does Uncle Raymond want to leave Destiny? How does Theo figure out a way for them to stay and a way for them to be a family. You’ll have to read (or listen to) the book to find out.

Here Augusta reads a snippet of The Way to Stay in Destiny (Scholastic, 2015):


I am giving away a copy of the Audio CD expertly narrated by Michael Crouch. If you would like to win, please leave me a comment (with your email address if you are new to my blog) by 6 PM August 20. If you become a new follower of my blog, or share this post on Facebook or Twitter, I'll give you additional chances to win; just let me know in your comment what you did.

This review originally was published on LitChat on July 28, 2015

Who Is Your Audience?

Congratulations to Joyce Hostetter who won the audio book, "Red Berries, White Clouds, & Blue Sky" from last week's blog.

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As some of you know, my husband and I recently went on a cross-country adventure. Seeing the northwest has been his bucket-list dream for years. Now that he is "semi-retired" we had the time to do it.

I’ll admit I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of driving from Florida to Seattle and back again, but it was amazing to see new parts of the country. Stationed in the backseat of our van along with my computer, Iphone, maps, books, and snacks, I enjoyed the ride and staying in touch with my world.

 I also enjoyed sharing pictures via Facebook and texting. What can compare to seeing snow-covered mountains and texting them to my friends in the South and East?

 

Mt. Ranier, Washington
as seen through the car window

It felt somewhat egotistical to share these pictures and I wanted to avoid a “look at me!” mentality, but I truly was blessed to have this opportunity.  I was amazed at how many people looked at my pictures and commented on them or shared them with others.

A Facebook friend shared this image with her relative who teaches Renaissance Literature:

Wichita, Ks. jordantarrant.com

Other friends laughed with me about the hullabaloo and long lines we witnessed in Bellevue, Washington when Seattle's first Chick-fil-A opened:

http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/eastside/3-weeks-in-fans-still-mobbing-bellevue-chick-fil-a/

All of this made me consider the concept of audience.

When we share pictures, give a speech or performance; write an article or a book, we’re hoping for a positive reaction from our “audience.”  Sometimes our audience surprises us.

With wind-blown hair, this picture of me taken in the Badlands National Park, South Dakota got more "likes" on Facebook than any other picture I posted. 

My fellow blogger, Barbara Younger, blogs about menopause and all things related to women’s health in latter years. She has an occasional series showing women’s restroom doors.  After spotting this door in The Canon Pub in Columbus, Georgia,  

The hunt was on to send Barbra unusual ladies room doors. Here are two more I found. (BTW, I sent Barbara so many doors she's going to feature them on three separate blogs. Stay tuned!)

At Worden's Deli in Missoula, Mt

Colton's Steak House; Springfield, Mo

I knew my Korean friend Esther, who was recently confined to a wheel chair, would appreciate this sculpture

on a bike trail in Springfield, Missouri, as well as a Korean barbecue restaurant in an international food court outside Seattle.

 I hoped my granddaughter would appreciate seeing the animals in Yellowstone,

And I knew my friend Linda Phillips would appreciate this image from her home state of Oregon:

Multnomah Falls, Oregon

Having an audience added unanticipated fun to my trip. But at some point I started wondering: do I take pictures--or write a book--to please an audience? And as flattering as "likes" are on Facebook or "favorites" on Twitter can be--am I writing to say something or to please an audience?

I’ve heard that it’s a good idea to write your book picturing your target reader. Do you agree?  If you are writing a book, are you writing with a specific audience in mind? If you've already published books, is your audience who you expected it would be? 

Take a look at Augusta Scattergood's blog post on a similar topic.
What do you think? Has anticipating your audience shaped your work? If so, has that been a good or bad experience for you?

Meanwhile, thank you, blog readers and Facebook friends, for being a kind, supportive audience. This picture is for you:

Coeur D'Alene, Idaho