Audacity Jones Steals the Show: Review, ARC Giveaway, and a Mini-Lesson on POV

Congratulations to Sandra Warren for winning Augusta Scattergood's book, MAKING FRIENDS WITH BILLY WONG.

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Here's the question:

On a multiple choice test, which would you choose?

a. Kirby Larson's newest book, Audacity Jones Steals the Show (Scholastic, 2017), is about an eleven-year-old girl ("Audie to her friends") who makes an elephant disappear.

b. Audacity Jones is about Cypher, who in his new job with the Pinkerton Detective Agency, is charged with the duty of keeping an eye on Theo Quinn. 

c. Audacity Jones is about a young scientist, Theo Quinn, who provides Houdini with the necessary illusions to cause a seven-foot elephant to vanish. 

d. Audacity Jones is about Harry Houdini's newest and most fantastic trick ever.  

e. Audacity Jones is about Min; a persistent, smart chocolate-striped puss, who speaks Dog, learns to speak Elephant, and refuses to let her girl out of her sight. 

f. Audacity Jones is about the fraud Oberon who thinks he can use Theo Quinn to outwit Mr. Harry Houdini and become the world's greatest magician in his place. 

g. All of the above.

Third Person Omniscient POV

The answer is probably obvious, but I gave you these glimpses into this story for a reason. Although Audi is the heroine, Kirby Larson uses third person omniscient point-of-view to show readers what these important secondary characters think and want.

The interplay between these characters moves the story forward at a fast pace. Since this device is not seen in too many contemporary books (and generally advised against, particularly for new writers), I asked Kirby what prompted her to write Audacity Jones in this manner. 

She said, "I do not have any fancy names or explanations for the method I used in writing this book. I was aiming for an old-fashioned storytelling feel, thus the moments of omniscient narration; I also chose to break the “fourth wall” by speaking directly to the reader on a few occasions (a nod to Jane Austen). And I do know that we writers of books for children are advised not to use multiple viewpoints, etc., but honestly that is how I felt the story needed to be told. And I am lucky enough that my editor and publisher supported my choice, no matter how many “rules” there are against it!" 

A recent Writer's Digest article, "Why Point of View is So Important" by Joseph Bates, concludes: "Oftentimes we don't really choose a POV for our project; our project chooses a POV for us...Often stories tell us how they should be told--and once you find the right POV for yours, you'll likely realize the story couldn't have been told any other way."

Min's Voice

As I think you'll see from this scene from STEALS THE SHOW, that's exactly what Kirby Larson has done. This is from the POV of Min, one of my favorite characters. In this scene, she has snuck on board a train bound for New York City, for "Where the girl went, so did she." (p. 15)

Despite her abilities and intuitions, Min was stymied by the cargo put aboard at the most recent stop. More cage than crate, it took six men to load it into the baggage car. The creature inside was ten times greater than the heft of both Corgis combined and a thousand times more intelligent than the chickens. Min struggled to interpret the new creature's language, reminiscent of Bison, with a hint of Eagle. It didn't help that the language--or perhaps it was the speaker; Min hadn't worked that out yet--was rather nasal in tone. Min had worked out that the creature was either named Punk or was a punk; at least that's what the men had called it. By its limited vocabulary, she had also surmised it was not full-grown. It smelled of hay and apples and something else: The young thing reeked of sorrow. Once the cage had been situated in the baggage car, that smell did more to keep Min awake than all the clucking of those flibbertigibbet hens.

Early on, Min had learned how to comfort little Audie during lonely nights. Min hesitated: Would this baby, huge as it was, also welcome such comforting? If Punk stepped on her, then farewell to one of Min's remaining lives. Yet, she could not bear the creature's melancholy any longer. She padded close, straw shifting and scratching under her paws, to rub her scent against the metal bars of Punk's crate. After a few moments, the creature slowed it's rocking. Made a snuffling noise. Min waited, not a muscle twitching. Then something stroked her back through the bars. It was Punk's curious appendage, the one that hung from between his eyes. If it was Punk's nose, it was the most ridiculous nose that Mind had ever seen on an animal, but she kept that to herself. Hard enough for this baby to be alone; no need to rub salt in the wound by pointing out how homely he was. But then truthfully, what animal compares to a cat?

"Moww-rr?" Min inquired, paw poised in midair. 

Punk snuffled again. Puffs of warm air from his long appendage blew tracks in Min's chocolate-striped fur. Min took this as permission and eased slowly between the bars, into the cage, a cage too small for Punk to do anything but stand. She pressed against Punk's front leg and he stopped rocking altogether. Then he slowly eased his solid self into a lean agains the metal bars. Min leapt to a spot at the back of Punk's flat head, between ears as big as boat sails. Turning once, twice, three times, she settled herself, purring. Though Punk could not lie down, Min felt him relax.

Min locked at the leathery skin beneath her. It was dry. Punk needed water. Needed rest. Needed...

He said something.

Punk said something. And Min understood.

Thank you, he said. Thank you, friend.  (p.39-41. Used with permission.)

Giveaway and Resources

I have an autographed ARC to send to one of you. If you share this on social media or become a new follower of my blog, I'll enter your name twice. Just be sure to leave me your email address if you are new to my blog and tell me what you have done. Giveaway ends on February 17. Kirby is donating a portion of her royalties to The Elephant Sanctuary.

For other resources on using the third person omniscient POV see:

Third Person Omniscient vs. Third Person Limited  by Nathan Bransford

How to Write in Third Person Omniscient POV by Brian Davis. Brian gives good examples of "head-hopping" (which is NOT what Kirby has done) and subjective vs. objective omniscient. 

Whose Head is it Anyway? by Janice Hardy.

Immersive POV by Donald Maas. Not specifically on third person POV, but excellent article. (Aren't all articles by Maas eye-opening?)  

Making Friends with Billy Wong by Augusta Scattergood: A Review with Help from David Corbett

Congratulations to my fellow blogger, Clara Gillow Clark, who won a copy of TWICE BETRAYED on last week's blog. Stay tuned friends, I have lots more giveaways coming up!

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One of the writing blogs I follow is Writer Unboxed. When I find an article by one of their contributors in Writer's Digest, I pay extra attention. 

Soon after completing Augusta Scattergood's middle grade novel, MAKING FRIENDS WITH BILLY WONG (Scholastic Press, 2016),  I read David Corbett's article "To Change or Not to Change?"(Writer's Digest, January, 2017). Thanks to Corbett, I found a terrific template to review Augusta's book. (Quotes from his article are in bold.)

Every story implicitly asks two simple questions: 1) What happened? and 2) Why? These questions may remain unanswered, but they cannot be escaped...we need to keep in mind what Les Edgerton means when he says every story is about the same thing--trouble--or what Steven James means when he says that stories are not about what happened, they're about what went wrong. (Writer's Digest, pp. 26, 27)

For Azalea Morgan, the protagonist in MAKING FRIENDS, her life goes wrong in the first paragraph: 

All it took to send my summer on the road to ruin was a fancy note and a three-cent stamp. The minute that envelope showed up, Mama was packing my suitcase. (p. 1)

The reader quickly discovers the three types of problems which Corbett says characters try to answer:

• External challenges: tasks in pursuit of a goal in the physical world. 

For Azalea, that means surviving a summer in Arkansas without her best friend and being asked to help a cranky grandmother she doesn't really know.  

• Internal questions: doubt concerning deep-seated issues such as one's worth, purpose, nature, identity--in which characters are forced to ask, Who am I? What kind of person do I want to be? 

Azalea doesn't make friends easily and when she finds out her grandmother expects her to be friends with Billy Wong, the local grocer's grand nephew, Azalea thinks,

Like it or not, I was going to meet more people than I was ever friends with back in Texas. (p. 26)

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Would this Billy Wong boy want to talk to me? Did we speak the same language? I wasn't so great at talking to ordinary boys back home--boys who didn't look like they'd just arrived from some faraway country. Mama says I'll get over that talking-to-boys thing. I doubt I'll get over it this summer in Paris Junction, Arkansas. (p. 29) 

• Interpersonal Relationships: efforts to grow closer to or distance oneself from another character or characters. 

In spite of her doubts about being friends with a Chinese boy, Azalea begins to see the ostracism Billy faces. That, along with his friendliness, draws the two together. After they get ice cream at the drug store, Billy asks her if she wants to bike at the creek or hunt turtles. 

If I hadn't already talked more than I'd talked in my entire lifetime to a boy, I'd be explaining that no, I will not be exploring a creek. I will be fixing dinner and watering Grandma Clark's garden till the cows come home....Even though it was easy eating ice cream together, I had a hard time picturing being good friends with a boy. Especially one so different. 

But today was fun. So I looked right at Billy Wong, and I answered, "Maybe." (p. 64)

In the Writers Digest article David Corbett wrote, 

When a protagonist of any kind changes, it's usually because the struggles and conflicts he has faced have forged a different understanding of himself, his abilities and/or his world, including the people in it. (p. 28)

By the mid-point of the book, Azalea is calling Billy her friend. She is also surprising herself by becoming braver than she ever had been in Texas. She discovers hidden truths about Willis, the town bully, as well as about her grandmother. These discoveries spawn new actions.  

Despite her fears, towards the end of the book Azalea climbs up her grandmother's tree behind Willis, who has been throwing acorns down on her and Billy. She asks:

"You doing this because you're mad at me? What'd I do?"

"This was my tree till that Chinese boy came. Now every time I climb it, he's around." 

When a breeze rustled the tree's leaves, I grabbed hold of a thicker branch and held on. "Ever think about being friends with Billy?" I asked, still not quite believing I was perched in a tree with Willis DeLoach. (p. 173)

With that interaction, the reader knows that Azalea is well on the way to growing and changing. 

Like Kirby Larson's LIBERTY, Augusta Scattergood inserted poems from Billy's point of view. Her sparse use of language gets to the heart of how Billy is feeling. This is one of my favorites:

Keeping Notes on Lucky Foods, My Private File

The screen door pushes open.

The bell ting-a-lings.

A white man steps inside, tall, frowning.

Hat pulled close over his forehead.

Eyes darting fast

from Kay's Cookies to Dum Dum suckers,

cash register to cigar boxes.

"Need me some garden fertilizer," he snarls.

"Near the fishing lines," I answer, nicely.

He draws his words out.

"Bologna? Cheese? Bread?"

"Right this way, sir," I say.

I reach into the cool case of cheese and lunch meat.

Weigh a thick wedge of cheddar.

Punch the cash register's round buttons.

Hand the man groceries.

Watch him leave.

He'll go in my stories.

Mixed together with

track meets,

Future Farmers,

Student Council,

dusting soup cans,

pricing crushable cracker boxes.

And new friends.              
Property of Billy Wong, Spy (p. 123)

Corbett concludes the article, 

Look to your story to determine whether your main characters must change, and the degree of change they will undergo. Change is by no means a requirement--but when the story leads to self-examination, or revolves around a relationship, it is all but inevitable that the action will create the re-evaluation of self that we equate with change. (p.29)

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Teachers and home school educators: Augusta just posted her classroom discussion guide on her website. You can download it here.

Augusta and I have been Facebook friends for several years.
We enjoyed meeting in person a few weeks ago, half-way between our homes in Florida.
We talked about books and writing for three hours-
and now I have a new "real" friend!

Liberty: A Review with a Focus on Writing Craft

Congratulations to Jessica Jacobson, a new blog subscriber, who won SOLDIER BOYS from last week's blog. 

When Alan Gratz, a prolific NC author, presented a workshop at SCBWI-Carolinas in 2010 on Plot and Pacing, my blog was only a few years old and I was learning how to review books. Fast forward to 2016, and I've decided to integrate writing craft instruction as much as possible into my reviews.  

LIBERTY (Scholastic, 2016), by Kirby Larson is the third in her Dogs of War series for readers in grades 3-7. As Gratz stated in the opening of his workshop, a good story must include conflict. "Kids won't read boring stuff." Authors must entertain early and set the tone of the book. How's this for the opening paragraph of LIBERTY:

Thomas Edison said, to invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. Fish Elliott had both. Unfortunately, he also had Olympia. Fish heard her before she even poked her braided head through the loose board in the fence between their yards. (p.1)

What tone does that set?

Without one iota of info-dump, Larson shows the reader that Olympia isn't allowed to attend Fish's school because she's a Negro; his sister, Mo, works at Higgins Industries, which builds landing craft; his pop has enlisted in the war; Fish is battling the lingering effects of polio; and he's determined to rescue a dog from a mean neighbor.

Not bad for ten pages.

Gratz, using material from Vogler's Writer's Journey, talked about the importance of internal and external goals, which are both resolved at the end. For Fish, his internal goal is to have his father not see him as a cripple. "Fish would do whatever it took to be the kind of son that his father really wanted." (p 28). His external goal is to keep Liberty, the dog he rescues more than once.

Larson added depth to her story by incorporating an important secondary character. Erich is a German soldier and a French prisoner of war near Algiers. Sprinkled throughout Fish's story which takes place in New Orleans, the reader learns about Erich's goal: "He was going to do whatever it took to stay concealed, to stay hidden. He could not let anyone see the Erich within.... It was his only chance of surviving." (p. 37) 

Gratz said that the decision to act occurs in the first 25% of the book. Fish almost gives up on gaining Liberty's trust. "He wasn't going to find Liberty. It had been silly to think he would. Just like it was silly to think he could fix his leg." (p. 51)  After Olympia chides him that he shouldn't give up, he goes inside to do his secret leg strengthening exercises. His sister comes home bragging about one of Fish's contraptions that inspired a new idea at the plant and Fish is empowered. "He'd done something that would make Pop proud." (p. 57)

As Gratz pointed out using the Wizard of Oz, Act 2 includes the adventures along the yellow brick road. For Fish, that includes losing Liberty, riding a bike for the first time since he'd been diagnosed with polio, and interviewing Mr. Higgins at his plant for a school project.

Mr. Higgins rested against the railing. "They said we couldn't do it. But last year we deliver seven thousand LCVPs and a thousand LCMs...." He clapped Fish on the back. "Two things I've learned, Fish." He held up a plump finger. "Don't let others set the bar for you." A second finger. "And if you think you can't, you're right." (p. 121)

For Erich, clear across the ocean, his adventure begins when he sneaks aboard a transport that was taking Germans to a prison camp in the United States. "What's the worst they could do if they catch you?...Send you to prison camp?" his friend says (p. 90). When Erich arrives in New Orleans, the reader is on the hook. How will these two characters--who have no connection to one another-- meet? 

The climax of the book, as Gratz says, should be the moment that was promised in the beginning; the moment when the internal and external goals come together. In LIBERTY, that means both Fish and Erich performing heroic feats for Liberty's final rescue. Since I want you to read this book, I'm not including any spoilers! But in this tease, Fish recognizes similarities between Erich and some of his favorite people: 

Fish glanced over at Erich. He's eyes were as blue as Roy's. His smile as warm as Mo's. It was hard to think of him as an enemy. Maybe he had been. Maybe he still was, in some ways. But they were allies, too, over Liberty. (p. 185)

Erich gives Fish a carving of Liberty:

Fish stared at in wonder. It was Liberty in miniature perfection. He'd got her ears, her face, her shape, just right. "For me?" 

"Inside each piece of wood waits its true self, waiting to be revealed by the carver." Erich turned away from Liberty's pen. "This is true for people, too. We do not know what lies within until we are prodded into action." (p. 186)

This book for boys and girls will introduce younger readers to segregation and World War II in a gentle, yet provocative and meaningful manner. This would be an excellent classroom resource but sorry, I'm not giving my copy away. I have grandkids who are ready for this book; another novel commandeered for The Cousins Club! 

Gifts from John Bemis- Part III And a GIVEAWAY!

In the final post of this series, John Claude Bemis shares the last five points from his talk at the Table Rock Writers retreat on “What Creative People Can Learn from Observing Children. Directions for how to win an autographed copy of The Prince Who Fell From the Sky follow this post. If you missed the first five points, you can find them here.

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Sixth, from the moment a baby starts exploring his world, his job is to learn. Kids’ daily “work” is going to school. This implies a position of humility as they listen to their teachers impart knowledge, facts, and wisdom. 

"I know there's a way these scissors
are supposed to work!"
Libbie Kasten, 18 months

The same goes for writers. No matter how knowledgeable you think you are about the craft, there’s always more to learn. Be a humble, patient, attentive student as you continue to grow your craft.

Seventh, kids operate from a gut-level. Sometimes the information daily flooding our brains from the news, Internet, and media can impede our decision making process. Whereas it might take us awhile to gather our thoughts, children often sit down at a blank piece of paper and begin to draw or create immediately. They listen to their intuition. 

"A masterpiece!"
Ebby Clark when she was 4

Everyone has an opinion about art. Sometimes writers get stuck trying to figure out if their idea is worthwhile or not. John reminded us that, “if you trust your instincts, you can create more purely.”

There is a time to critically evaluate your work, to tweak and re-evaluate it. It’s called revision. But, when you’re creating a new work, “shoot from the hip. Operate from your gut. Don’t over think—create from your intuitive imaginative place!”

Eighth, kids laugh. In fact, they laugh more than 300 times a day whereas adults laugh less than 20 times. Laughter decreases stress hormones, improves blood glucose levels, improves blood pressure, circulation, and oxygen intake, and releases endorphins. Think about laughter as a way to increase your productivity.

Mason & Libbie
laughing it up!

For children, laughter is part of their play.  Adults should make more time to visit with friends and laugh, relax, and have fun. This gets your right brain working, rather than the logical left side. John suggested that, “If you’ve hit that creative wall and can’t get back to a productive place, call up a funny friend, and find a way to laugh.  It’ll relax you and you’ll be surprised how quickly a solution to your problem pops out ‘Eureka!’”

Ninth, kids operate in the moment. Think about a child who is intensely interested in a bug on a sidewalk. That child is being mindful. “The act of being mindful is a place where you are sharply in tuned to the present moment,” John said.  Toddlers don’t think about consequences when they scribble on the wall.  But they are enjoying the moment!

"Isn't this what you're supposed to do with ink pads?"
Mason, 3-years-old

As writers, thinking too much about the future stifles our actions in the present.  For example, if you’re constantly worrying about whether your current story will get picked up by a publisher or how reviewers will respond to it, you can get into a “very negative head space.” John suggested that writers be “present to the journey, not the destination,” focusing on each word, page, and scene.  

Tenth, kids embrace and enjoy the absurd. They are delighted by James flying away in a giant peach with a crew of insects and Alice’s wacky adventures in Wonderland. Their brains don’t say, “That could never happen,” instead they love being surprised by the unexpected.

“When we hear something that strikes our brain as ‘wrong’ or ‘off’ or ‘weird’, we start to reassess our assumptions,” John noted. “A cognitive shift occurs as we try to make sense of the absurdity.” He advised writers to embrace the absurd, the strange, AND the weird, in order to get your brain in a more creative place.

In conclusion John encouraged all writers to take a few tips from the most creative people on the planet – kids! In the process, “you’ll be productive and make new discoveries about yourself and your craft.”

I appreciate John allowing me to use the material from his talk on my blog. I hope you'll visit his website and check out all of his marvelous books!

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FINALLY--THE GIVEAWAY!

If you would like to receive an autographed copy of this book, please leave me a comment along with your contact information. (Sorry! United States only.) Drawing will be held after 8PM on Thursday, October 9. 

Is the cup half-empty or half-full?

On April 4th The Charlotte Observer ran an article with the headline, "Students score well in writing" reporting better than average scores for local eighth graders on the 2007 national writing test. When you look closely, the statistics aren't as exciting as the headline indicates. At closer inspection, you'll find that if all races and income levels are included, only 31% of local eighth-graders were rated proficient on the exam —this matches the national rate. Although 52 % of white students in Charlotte-Mecklenburg schools were rated proficient as compared to less than 40% of their white public-school peers nationwide and in the Carolinas, I'm not celebrating. (For the full report, go to The Nation's Report Card.)

Perhaps this is (relatively) good news for our local school district, but I'm sorry, I don't find these statistics anything to be jumping for joy about. What about the 69% of eighth grade students across the country who aren't meeting this level of proficiency? What about the remaining 48% in Charlotte Mecklenburg?

The "basic" rating, earned by a solid majority of students regardless of location, race, or income, indicates only a partial mastery of grade-level writing. As the Observer reported and the statistics indicate, "proficient writing, defined as solid performance and competency on challenging subjects, was much rarer."

What's the problem here? As an educator involved in teaching writing skills, I speak with lots of teachers around the country. I think there are several weak links in the educational chain. First, I find that almost all teachers feel a great pressure to "teach to the test." So although an argument can be made that at least class time is being devoted to writing, I wonder how much of this preparation (with its concomitant pressure on teachers whose salaries can be tied to their students' performance), is rote or truly teaches the craft of writing. (See the International Reading Association's position paper for more information.)

I believe that writing skills should be developed from a strong foundation of reading and from analytical thinking. Reading has been replaced with playing video games, surfing the Internet (which at least involves more reading skills than video games) watching movies and TV, or competing in sports, than they do reading. Reading MUST be encouraged, supported, and reinforced by parents and educators. Second, I think we don't adequately challenge kids to think critically. Writing involves thinking. Whether fiction or nonfiction, every piece of solid writing requires the author to generate original thoughts. As much as possible, teachers need to be supported in encouraging students of all ages to think for themselves. This doesn't need to be fancy. An author friend of mine, who is a former teacher, said that when students brought a paper for her to read and asked, "What do you think of this?" she'd turn the question around and ask, "What do you think about it?" Critical thinking isn't an educational quick fix; it starts with engaging students mind's rather than being satisfied with rote responses.

Here's my word for the day: metacognition- the ability to reflect on one's own learning experience. Let's teach it. Let's model it. Let's do it ourselves.

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