Friend Friday: Guest Blogger for Kirby Larson and a First Page Critique

Congratulations to Joan Edwards who won SOPHIE QUIRE and THE LAST STORYGUARD off last week's blog.

I've been a Kirby Larson fan ever since I read Hattie Big Sky followed by Hattie Ever After. I recently reviewed two of Kirby's newer books Audacity Steals the Show and Liberty. I was honored when she invited me to write a guest blog for her!

Can you imagine what my topic is? 

For the answer, check out this Friend Friday post and leave a comment. I'm also offering a first page critique; you have until May 17 to enter the giveaway. Make sure to leave your email address if I don't already have it. 

Audacity Jones Steals the Show: Review, ARC Giveaway, and a Mini-Lesson on POV

Congratulations to Sandra Warren for winning Augusta Scattergood's book, MAKING FRIENDS WITH BILLY WONG.

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Here's the question:

On a multiple choice test, which would you choose?

a. Kirby Larson's newest book, Audacity Jones Steals the Show (Scholastic, 2017), is about an eleven-year-old girl ("Audie to her friends") who makes an elephant disappear.

b. Audacity Jones is about Cypher, who in his new job with the Pinkerton Detective Agency, is charged with the duty of keeping an eye on Theo Quinn. 

c. Audacity Jones is about a young scientist, Theo Quinn, who provides Houdini with the necessary illusions to cause a seven-foot elephant to vanish. 

d. Audacity Jones is about Harry Houdini's newest and most fantastic trick ever.  

e. Audacity Jones is about Min; a persistent, smart chocolate-striped puss, who speaks Dog, learns to speak Elephant, and refuses to let her girl out of her sight. 

f. Audacity Jones is about the fraud Oberon who thinks he can use Theo Quinn to outwit Mr. Harry Houdini and become the world's greatest magician in his place. 

g. All of the above.

Third Person Omniscient POV

The answer is probably obvious, but I gave you these glimpses into this story for a reason. Although Audi is the heroine, Kirby Larson uses third person omniscient point-of-view to show readers what these important secondary characters think and want.

The interplay between these characters moves the story forward at a fast pace. Since this device is not seen in too many contemporary books (and generally advised against, particularly for new writers), I asked Kirby what prompted her to write Audacity Jones in this manner. 

She said, "I do not have any fancy names or explanations for the method I used in writing this book. I was aiming for an old-fashioned storytelling feel, thus the moments of omniscient narration; I also chose to break the “fourth wall” by speaking directly to the reader on a few occasions (a nod to Jane Austen). And I do know that we writers of books for children are advised not to use multiple viewpoints, etc., but honestly that is how I felt the story needed to be told. And I am lucky enough that my editor and publisher supported my choice, no matter how many “rules” there are against it!" 

A recent Writer's Digest article, "Why Point of View is So Important" by Joseph Bates, concludes: "Oftentimes we don't really choose a POV for our project; our project chooses a POV for us...Often stories tell us how they should be told--and once you find the right POV for yours, you'll likely realize the story couldn't have been told any other way."

Min's Voice

As I think you'll see from this scene from STEALS THE SHOW, that's exactly what Kirby Larson has done. This is from the POV of Min, one of my favorite characters. In this scene, she has snuck on board a train bound for New York City, for "Where the girl went, so did she." (p. 15)

Despite her abilities and intuitions, Min was stymied by the cargo put aboard at the most recent stop. More cage than crate, it took six men to load it into the baggage car. The creature inside was ten times greater than the heft of both Corgis combined and a thousand times more intelligent than the chickens. Min struggled to interpret the new creature's language, reminiscent of Bison, with a hint of Eagle. It didn't help that the language--or perhaps it was the speaker; Min hadn't worked that out yet--was rather nasal in tone. Min had worked out that the creature was either named Punk or was a punk; at least that's what the men had called it. By its limited vocabulary, she had also surmised it was not full-grown. It smelled of hay and apples and something else: The young thing reeked of sorrow. Once the cage had been situated in the baggage car, that smell did more to keep Min awake than all the clucking of those flibbertigibbet hens.

Early on, Min had learned how to comfort little Audie during lonely nights. Min hesitated: Would this baby, huge as it was, also welcome such comforting? If Punk stepped on her, then farewell to one of Min's remaining lives. Yet, she could not bear the creature's melancholy any longer. She padded close, straw shifting and scratching under her paws, to rub her scent against the metal bars of Punk's crate. After a few moments, the creature slowed it's rocking. Made a snuffling noise. Min waited, not a muscle twitching. Then something stroked her back through the bars. It was Punk's curious appendage, the one that hung from between his eyes. If it was Punk's nose, it was the most ridiculous nose that Mind had ever seen on an animal, but she kept that to herself. Hard enough for this baby to be alone; no need to rub salt in the wound by pointing out how homely he was. But then truthfully, what animal compares to a cat?

"Moww-rr?" Min inquired, paw poised in midair. 

Punk snuffled again. Puffs of warm air from his long appendage blew tracks in Min's chocolate-striped fur. Min took this as permission and eased slowly between the bars, into the cage, a cage too small for Punk to do anything but stand. She pressed against Punk's front leg and he stopped rocking altogether. Then he slowly eased his solid self into a lean agains the metal bars. Min leapt to a spot at the back of Punk's flat head, between ears as big as boat sails. Turning once, twice, three times, she settled herself, purring. Though Punk could not lie down, Min felt him relax.

Min locked at the leathery skin beneath her. It was dry. Punk needed water. Needed rest. Needed...

He said something.

Punk said something. And Min understood.

Thank you, he said. Thank you, friend.  (p.39-41. Used with permission.)

Giveaway and Resources

I have an autographed ARC to send to one of you. If you share this on social media or become a new follower of my blog, I'll enter your name twice. Just be sure to leave me your email address if you are new to my blog and tell me what you have done. Giveaway ends on February 17. Kirby is donating a portion of her royalties to The Elephant Sanctuary.

For other resources on using the third person omniscient POV see:

Third Person Omniscient vs. Third Person Limited  by Nathan Bransford

How to Write in Third Person Omniscient POV by Brian Davis. Brian gives good examples of "head-hopping" (which is NOT what Kirby has done) and subjective vs. objective omniscient. 

Whose Head is it Anyway? by Janice Hardy.

Immersive POV by Donald Maas. Not specifically on third person POV, but excellent article. (Aren't all articles by Maas eye-opening?)  

Liberty: A Review with a Focus on Writing Craft

Congratulations to Jessica Jacobson, a new blog subscriber, who won SOLDIER BOYS from last week's blog. 

When Alan Gratz, a prolific NC author, presented a workshop at SCBWI-Carolinas in 2010 on Plot and Pacing, my blog was only a few years old and I was learning how to review books. Fast forward to 2016, and I've decided to integrate writing craft instruction as much as possible into my reviews.  

LIBERTY (Scholastic, 2016), by Kirby Larson is the third in her Dogs of War series for readers in grades 3-7. As Gratz stated in the opening of his workshop, a good story must include conflict. "Kids won't read boring stuff." Authors must entertain early and set the tone of the book. How's this for the opening paragraph of LIBERTY:

Thomas Edison said, to invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. Fish Elliott had both. Unfortunately, he also had Olympia. Fish heard her before she even poked her braided head through the loose board in the fence between their yards. (p.1)

What tone does that set?

Without one iota of info-dump, Larson shows the reader that Olympia isn't allowed to attend Fish's school because she's a Negro; his sister, Mo, works at Higgins Industries, which builds landing craft; his pop has enlisted in the war; Fish is battling the lingering effects of polio; and he's determined to rescue a dog from a mean neighbor.

Not bad for ten pages.

Gratz, using material from Vogler's Writer's Journey, talked about the importance of internal and external goals, which are both resolved at the end. For Fish, his internal goal is to have his father not see him as a cripple. "Fish would do whatever it took to be the kind of son that his father really wanted." (p 28). His external goal is to keep Liberty, the dog he rescues more than once.

Larson added depth to her story by incorporating an important secondary character. Erich is a German soldier and a French prisoner of war near Algiers. Sprinkled throughout Fish's story which takes place in New Orleans, the reader learns about Erich's goal: "He was going to do whatever it took to stay concealed, to stay hidden. He could not let anyone see the Erich within.... It was his only chance of surviving." (p. 37) 

Gratz said that the decision to act occurs in the first 25% of the book. Fish almost gives up on gaining Liberty's trust. "He wasn't going to find Liberty. It had been silly to think he would. Just like it was silly to think he could fix his leg." (p. 51)  After Olympia chides him that he shouldn't give up, he goes inside to do his secret leg strengthening exercises. His sister comes home bragging about one of Fish's contraptions that inspired a new idea at the plant and Fish is empowered. "He'd done something that would make Pop proud." (p. 57)

As Gratz pointed out using the Wizard of Oz, Act 2 includes the adventures along the yellow brick road. For Fish, that includes losing Liberty, riding a bike for the first time since he'd been diagnosed with polio, and interviewing Mr. Higgins at his plant for a school project.

Mr. Higgins rested against the railing. "They said we couldn't do it. But last year we deliver seven thousand LCVPs and a thousand LCMs...." He clapped Fish on the back. "Two things I've learned, Fish." He held up a plump finger. "Don't let others set the bar for you." A second finger. "And if you think you can't, you're right." (p. 121)

For Erich, clear across the ocean, his adventure begins when he sneaks aboard a transport that was taking Germans to a prison camp in the United States. "What's the worst they could do if they catch you?...Send you to prison camp?" his friend says (p. 90). When Erich arrives in New Orleans, the reader is on the hook. How will these two characters--who have no connection to one another-- meet? 

The climax of the book, as Gratz says, should be the moment that was promised in the beginning; the moment when the internal and external goals come together. In LIBERTY, that means both Fish and Erich performing heroic feats for Liberty's final rescue. Since I want you to read this book, I'm not including any spoilers! But in this tease, Fish recognizes similarities between Erich and some of his favorite people: 

Fish glanced over at Erich. He's eyes were as blue as Roy's. His smile as warm as Mo's. It was hard to think of him as an enemy. Maybe he had been. Maybe he still was, in some ways. But they were allies, too, over Liberty. (p. 185)

Erich gives Fish a carving of Liberty:

Fish stared at in wonder. It was Liberty in miniature perfection. He'd got her ears, her face, her shape, just right. "For me?" 

"Inside each piece of wood waits its true self, waiting to be revealed by the carver." Erich turned away from Liberty's pen. "This is true for people, too. We do not know what lies within until we are prodded into action." (p. 186)

This book for boys and girls will introduce younger readers to segregation and World War II in a gentle, yet provocative and meaningful manner. This would be an excellent classroom resource but sorry, I'm not giving my copy away. I have grandkids who are ready for this book; another novel commandeered for The Cousins Club! 

Introducing Sheri Levy and Seven Days to Goodbye

Thanks to the many folks who left comments on last week's blog and entered the giveaway. Sandra Warren, a fellow SCBWI-Carolinas writer, won the copy of Chris Woodworth's book, Ivy in the Shadows. Look for more giveaways in the upcoming weeks. Today I welcome Sheri Levy, another SCBWI-Carolinas member. Sheri talks about her forthcoming debut young adult novel, Seven Days to Goodbye, which will be released in late summer.

Carol Can you tell us about your book? I know you love all things canine, so I suspect there is a dog in the story!

Sheri with Slater and Mulligan

Sheri You are right. My dog journey began in 1977 with adopting a neighbor’s German Shepherd and then moved on to other breeds. Each new dog brought real life situations for my writing. Sydney, the dog character in my first novel, was our first Australian Shepherd and my soul mate.

Carol In what ways have your experiences with dogs influenced your writing?

Sheri Every morning I walked Sydney and Jake, an adopted black Lab. I focused on their facial expressions, body language, and goofy traits and knew them inside and out. They traveled with us to Edisto Beach and around the US for a month. My first draft actually included both dogs, but after a fabulous critique from Kirby Larson, she showed me how Jake took away from the emotional plot.

Carol  I'm a big Kirby Larson fan! I'm sure her critique was very helpful. Please share more about Seven Days to Goodbye.

Sheri The book is aimed towards fourth to eighth grade readers and takes place over a week-long vacation on Edisto Beach. My characters Trina and Sarah meet Chase and Peyton, and their seven-year-old autistic brother, Logan. Trina, a Puppy Raiser, has seven days before she must return her first service dog to the kennel to be matched with his forever companion. Themes in the book include watching friends change before your eyes, dreams, meeting guys, overcoming fears, and wanting to become independent. The beach environment creates adventures with Loggerhead turtles, birds, and boating.

Carol That’s a lot in one book! I can see why it got snapped up! Please share some of your writing journey.

Sheri After retiring as a special education teacher, writing was at the top of my “To Do” list, along with traveling. Learning to write a novel required a lot of time and more education. I attended SCBWI conferences, took classes, joined critique groups, and read many books. After numerous years of working and reworking on my first novel, I put it in a drawer, and began another. 

Having an article published with Clubhouse Magazine in 2010, "Scent with Love," and winning The Special Interest Award with the Dog Writers Association encouraged me to keep writing. The story is on my website. I started a second novel and after many revisions, began getting positive feedback from critiques, queries, and contests. I made it into the top 25 contestants in one Pitch Contest, and was a runner up for another Pitch & First 250 Word Contest, winning a five page agent critique. With each success, I gained confidence and began querying agents and publishers.

Carol How did you find your publisher?

Sheri I read online that Barking Rain Press was taking submissions for for two more days. After researching it, I spent hours readying my query and putting together a marketing plan. I hit "send" minutes before midnight of the closing day. It wasn’t long before BRP requested the whole manuscript, and then I waited. In September of 2013, a long, over-due response came in an email. My eyes hit the name of Barking Rain Press and my stomach lurched to my throat. I scanned the email again, not believing what I had read. The publisher, Sheri Gormely had said she loved my wonderful story and wanted to offer me a contract! I caught my breath, read the email to my husband, Murphy, who broke out into a giant grin. Then I re-read the email.

Carol Then what happened?

Sberi After rewriting the novel for the eighth time with the changes Sheri G. wanted, I began work with my editor, Cindy Koepp in November. I knew the novel needed a new name. Many friends sent great ideas on Facebook, but Murphy came up with the final name, Seven Days to Goodbye.

Sheri and Murphy on one of their traveling adventures.
Destination: Antigua Island

Carol What a great name for your book! Do you have any advice for beginning writers?

Sheri I always share my first experience of not knowing anything about writing and being convinced I had the perfect picture book! I even had it critiqued at my first conference. Blonnie Wyche was so kind. She encouraged me to read writing books, take classes and most of all, keep writing. If I had given up with the many rejections I received as a beginner, I wouldn’t be writing this post and starting a new life adventure.

Carol Blonnie was also a great encouragement to me. What was in your marketing plan? Did your publisher give you feedback on what she liked about it?

Sheri My feedback was the contract offer. The plan may have helped sell the book, but primarily I think she wanted to see if I had plans to promote the book. A big part of publishing, is promoting and creating interest in the book.

Sheri lives with her husband Murphy and her two Australian Shepherds, Slater and Mulligan in South Carolina. She has done agility and training with her dogs and mentors students in reading and writing.

Will Sparrow's Road

I have been a Karen Cushman fan ever since reading The Midwife's Apprentice , Catherine, Called Birdy, and Alchemy and Meggy Swann. Since all her books feature spunky characters in medieval England and are expertly written, I was excited to hear of the release of her new book, Will Sparrow's Road. 

From the opening of this middle grade book, readers discover that Will Sparrow, a small 13-year-old boy in 16th century England, is a runaway without a family or penny to his name. He is fast, quick-thinking, and a self-pronounced "lier and a thief" who is only interested in feeding his belly and finding a warm, safe place to sleep.

In his escape from servitude, he meets other characters who are better thieves than he as well as vendors and entertainers who travel from one Elizabethan fair to another. He finds employment with a traveling troupe of "Oddities and Prodigies;" a group that includes a feisty dwarf, a young girl with a hairy face, Grace, and an assortment of fabricated oddities. 

Although at first Will's loyalty is to his employer, he discovers that things aren't as they appear to be. His employer never pays wages and abuses the young girl. The dwarf who Will dislikes, wrestles men triple his size to obtain their dinner and also protects Grace. 

When Will first joins up with the troupe he separates himself emotionally from them; considering himself different and better than the oddities. Eventually, he discovers their true friendship and a family in which he finds acceptance and belonging. The book ends with his own actions bearing witness to the fact that he is a more than just a lier and a thief.

I listened to this book and found that Katherine Kellgren's portrayal of the characters was excellent.  As usual, Karen Cushman's accurate portrayal of the time period and life in an Elizabethan fair formed a great backdrop to the story. Please visit Kirby Larson's blog for a wonderful interview with Karen that includes Karen's research techniques and the value of well-written historical fiction. 

Holiday Giveaway #3- Hattie Big Sky on CD

Congratulations to Rosi Holinbeck, the newest follower of my blog and the winner of an autographed copy of Hattie Big Sky. For those of you who didn't win the book, here is your chance to win the book on CD. 

As promised, Kirby shares her own personal connection to Hattie's story: 

My beloved maternal grandmother was suffering from Alzheimer's and I was helping to take care of her. My heart was breaking over losing her, and at the same time, I was in a writing funk because I'd gone seven years without an acceptance letter. I was pretty sure I was supposed to quit writing. One day, I was with my grandma and she said, "The only time Mom was afraid was in the winter when the wild horses stampeded." Now, we live in the city so wild horses aren't generally something we have to worry about! 

Though I tried to get more information from Grandma, she didn't even remember saying those words to me. They stuck with me, however, and I asked my aunt if she had an idea if they meant anything. She recalled that my great-grandmother, Hattie Inez Brooks Wright,  (technically, my step-great-grandmother) had homesteaded as a young woman. And perhaps in Montana. I was so fascinated by that prospect, I began to poke around to find out if that was a true story. 

The real Hattie with her
niece and nephew

Though I wasn't able to find out much about her time on the prairie, I did learn that my great-grandmother did homestead, all by herself, in eastern Montana. I wanted to know more about what that experience might have been like for her, so I began reading homesteading stories/journals/diaries. That led to hours in newspaper archives, trips to Montana and a stack of books on Montana history! Before I knew it, four years had flown by, and I had a novel on my hands.

Lois Thomas Wright Brown, Kirby's maternal grandmother and model for the main character in Hattie Big Sky

Thank you, Kirby, for sharing this touching story!

And now that you've heard this "story behind the story", here is your chance to win Hattie Big Sky on CD. And yes, Kirby will find a way to autograph the CD for you or for someone you love.

Here are the rules: 

• If you already follow this blog, please share this contest via social media then post a comment on my blog or tag me on Facebook.
• If you aren’t a follower, sign up, and then leave a comment (see #1).
• If you have never entered one of my contests, PLEASE include your email address so I can contact you if you win. No contact information--you can't win!
• HURRY! Contest ends TOMORROW NIGHT. Winner will be picked December 15th. 

Do Hattie and Charlie ever get together? You'll have to read Kirby's next book, Hattie Ever After  due out in February, 2013 to find out. My mother and I can't wait! 

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Next Holiday giveaway is Kami Kinard's book, Boy Project!

Holiday Giveaway #2: Hattie Big Sky

It is a rare book that engages middle grade, young adult, and adult readers. Hattie Big Sky, a 2007 Newbery Honor winner by Kirby Larson, is such a book. 

While I listened to it on CD, my 88-year-old mother enjoyed reading it. This blog will include both our reactions to this hard-to-put-down book.

Set in early-20th century Montana, the story focuses on 16-year-old Hattie who just inherited her uncle's 320-acre claim.  Since I listened with my writer's hat on, this is what I appreciated:

• I loved how the book opened just as Hattie's life changes. The reader sees how Hattie has been orphaned and shifted from one relative to another. The inciting event happens quickly: the fateful letter declaring her inheritance arrives. 
• Larson uses beautiful language to describe the Montana landscape as well as Hattie's tumultuous feelings. 
• Hattie's external and internal goals are clearly portrayed. She has to clear 40 acres and set 480 posts in 10 months or lose the claim. Internally, she longs for a home-- for a place where she will no longer be "Hattie Here and There."
• Each obstacle to Hattie's success produces tension in the story. A shifty single man who desires her and her land, hail, her own exhaustion, her uncle's unpaid bills--all of these work to have the reader rooting for Hattie.
• Larson weaves in several interesting sub-plots: World War I, Hattie's growing affection for her hometown friend serving in the war, her love for reading and writing, and the anti-German sentiment in America.

While I admired Larson's wordsmith abilities, my mother was very happy "just" to love the story. She loved Hattie's courage and gutsiness and Mr. Whiskers (Hattie's cat.) "When I was reading it I could imagine I was in Montana. I could picture everything," she said. 

My mother immigrated to the United States in 1936 from Germany and never reads anything about WWII. I was wondering if the references to the Huns or the anti-German hatred which impacted Hattie would bother her. When I asked her she replied simply, "That was before my time."

Kirby is donating an autographed copy to one fortunate winner. Mothers, grandmothers, aunts, teachers...leave me a comment and you might win! Just make sure you read the book before you give it away (or give it with a promise that you'll get to read it too!)

Here are the giveaway rules: 

• If you already follow this blog, please share this contest via social media then post a comment telling me what you did.
• If you aren’t a follower, sign up, and then leave a comment.
• If you have never entered one of my contests, PLEASE include your email address so I can contact you if you win. No contact information--you can't win!

CONTEST ENDS THE EVENING OF WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 12TH!

Next blog up: Kirby shares the personal back story that led her to  writing this book. And you'll have the chance to win Hattie Big Sky on CD!