Conversations with Kathy: Summer Camp at Highlights Part II

"Great story, Carol! Honestly, I have very little to say except can I read more?? It sounds very polished, the writing is excellent, and I love the characters. It sounds from the synopsis that you have a very well thought out book and an interesting story. 

GREAT first line! Love it. You've gotten into the action right away, which is also great. We're swept away with the story from the very beginning."

Who wouldn't love to receive those comments on their first twenty pages? 

It took awhile for my heart to return to normal after I read Kathy Erskine's comments. And that was just the beginning of working with my amazing and award-winning summer camp mentor.  

When Kathy isn't writing, speaking
or mentoring, she is known to sniff flowers.
Fox Hill Farm

Since my first pages had been critiqued a lot, Kathy graciously agreed to read an additional 25 pages--and then she read several more chapters during the week. (Note: if you are considering attending a Highlights Foundation workshop, do it! The faculty bend over backwards to provide you with a quality learning experience.) 

We met for 30 minutes five times during the week to discuss my work. She got picky--which is exactly what I need as I enter this "tightening/heightening" stage. (term courtesy Joyce Hostetter--the master tweaker!)

Kathy's Comments

Here are a few of her comments on Half-Truths:

• Eliminate vague language. 

 Example: On the first day of school Lillie's principal references an incident from the previous year when the football team had gotten into trouble. Kathy recommended spelling this out and showing the difference between how the white and black students were treated afterwards. Here's the new version:

My brother Sam and some of the other football players almost started a fight while waiting to use Harding High’s football field. The Harding guys had called them names and made fun of their blue and white hand-me-down uniforms from Central High. We all hate that we don’t have our own colors.
      No one laid a hand on anyone but tempers got hot, and angry threats were thrown back and forth. The coaches stepped in just in time. I bet the white coach just slapped his boys on their backs and told them they'd take care of those colored boys another time. Our guys were suspended from playing the next two games. 

• Deepen a character's reaction to an event.

Example: The principal challenges the students to be a credit to their race. Kathy suggested Lillie might feel bothered by his subtle insinuation that blacks have to prove themselves. So I added the last two sentences to this paragraph:

I catch Mr. Grigsby’s drift because it’s been hammered into me since I was little. White people don’t expect Negroes to be smart or successful. It’s up to us to show them they’re wrong. If we do, we’ll be a credit to our race. Of course, it doesn’t matter if white folk think we’re not as good as them. The burden of proof is always on us. 


• Build tension and strengthen character motivation.


Example: Kate's goat, Eileen, has a suspicious skin disease. Lillie is in need of a science fair project and in my original manuscript, she sees Eileen and decides right away that finding a cure could be her project. In the new version, this realization develops over two chapters. Kate's act of kindness towards Lillie serves as Lillie's motivation:

Miss Anna Katherine put herself out for me. The least I can
 do is help figure out how to treat her goat. 
Then a thought crashes into my brain. Maybe I’ll use
 Eileen for my science experiment!  It’s not exactly what I 
thought I’d do, but since it's about disease and infection,
 I bet Mr. Levi will approve it.
(Note: This also strengthens the girls' connection to one another. Which is exactly what Rebecca Petruck advised me to do.)

More Suggestions

• Cut to the chase in each chapter. Have I said the same thing more than once in a scene? Am I explaining more than showing?
• Cut out backstory which removes reader from the story. Move forward.
• Put character or setting descriptions when the character first meets or enters the setting. 

Word Garden at the Barn
Highlights Foundation 

Kathy's Keynote

Kathy also delivered a keynote on "Making Your Writing Feel Authentic." Here are some of her points:

• Post a one-sentence description of your work on top of your computer to keep you focused
• Keep a talisman or picture--something which reminds you of your work--close at hand. (Pictures on Pinterest work. Here is my Half-Truths board, one on fashion in the 50's, one just of images of people, and one related to African Americans.
• You are not just writing about a person or a place. Experience that particular character in that particular place. Her novel, THE BADGER KNIGHT takes place in medieval England. Kathy visited castles, felt the trees, and imagined what her character might have seen, smelled or heard there. She even stepped in sheep poop and touched the standing stone
• Walk, talk, act, dress, and eat the same food your character eats. These details are shorthand about your character
• Use dialect with a light touch. Don't be distracting.
• Your climax should be unexpected, but not unbelievable. Set up well so that it is not trite and predictable. Knowing your character and portraying him or authentically will enable you to set this stage.
• And finally, a quote from Patti Gauch: “You know your ending is right when you’re crying at your keyboard.” 

One happy writer + one generous mentor=
a fantastic Summer Camp experience
Fox Hill Farm
Photo by Theresa Milstein

Stay tuned. In Part III of this series I'll share Jan Cheripko's insights into secondary characters and transitional scenes.

Aaron Moments: A Tribute to Friendship

Congratulations to Joyce Hostetter who won the autographed copy of "The Great Call of China" on last week's post. Trust me, her winning was independent of this post!

A Bible Lesson

The ancient Israelites had a problem. In a battle with their enemies the Amalekites, Moses and Aaron noticed that whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed. But his hands got heavy and when he let them down, Amalek prevailed. 

Exodus 17:12 says, "But Moses' hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat on it; and Aaron (his brother) and Hur (his companion) held up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun." 

Apparently this intervention worked because the next verse records how the Israelites were victorious. This is a superb example of two friends coming alongside a great leader and giving him the help he needed.

Since this blog deals more with writing than Biblical history, you might be wondering where I'm going with this post.  

Half-Truths and Aaron Moments

I'm close to the end of my fifth write-it-from-the-beginning draft of Half-Truths. Last week I was writing a scene in which Lillie really wants to be mad at Kate. But, according to my outline, this is Act IV when the two girls are now friends. Why would Lillie choose not to nurse her anger?

Light bulb moment. By remembering a time when Kate believed in her when other people didn't.

In my mind, I dubbed this previous incident in the story an "Aaron moment." A time when Lillie was ready to give up and give in. But Kate's encouragement kept her going--despite her fears and doubts. 

Meet my "Aaron's"

Like Moses and Lillie, I've had my moments when I was ready to quit. Thankfully, I've had three friends who have believed in me and helped me fight my panic and doubts. You've met these friends in blog posts, but here's a little more backstory about how each one has helped me with my story. 

In chronological order, here are my three "Aarons:"

April, 2016

Seventeen years ago, Fran Davis, the Regional Advisor for SCBW (there was no "I" back then) called me, and then called Linda Phillips. She had decided the two of us should co-chair the 1999 regional conference in Charlotte. We each agreed although there was one problem--we had never met. After much email correspondence, phone calls, and meetings, Linda and I pulled it off. 

In the process, we became critique partners, praying friends, and walking buddies. We continue to lift each other up when the other person is overwhelmed by doubts and fears. We give each other marketing advice, pep talks, and a different perspective on ourselves and our writing. Most of all, we're always there for each other as the voice of encouragement when the other person wants to abandon her work.  

In 2007, I met Joyce Hostetter at the Mid-South Reading and Writing Institute in Birmingham, Alabama. I went to her workshop on writing historical fiction and had her autograph a copy of BLUE. Thus started a friendship which led to us co-teaching writing workshops at NCCAT and publishing our online newsletter, Talking Story. 

In 2008 Joyce challenged me to stop talking about writing a novel and to plunge into NaNoWriMo. She encouraged me to spend a week at a Highlights Foundation Workshop for which I'll always be grateful. She's read and critiqued numerous synopsis and first pages. She's now (finally!) reading this draft and giving feedback on everything from sentence order to killing my darling similes. When I bewail how long it's taken to write my first novel she offers understanding but no excuses.  

2013

I attended the 2011 SCBWI-Carolinas conference with a revised first draft and great confidence that I was on my way to publication. Mary Kate Castellani,  my critiquer, changed all that.  She rocked my world and changed my novel by calmly suggesting that my book would reach a wider audience if I wrote it from both Kate's and Lillie's POV. 

My mind whirled as I walked through the revolving doors at the conference hotel. I had just finished writing the entire book from Kate's POV. How could I possibly write a story from a black girl's POV? How could I start all over again? (little did I know...)

The first person I saw on the other side of the door was Rebecca Petruck. 

She not only told me I could and should write Half-Truths from both POV's, she has helped me with the humongous task of plotting a book from two points of view. I've appreciated Rebecca's ability to see what Half-Truths was trying to be and to bring me back from the many bunny trails which my imagination led me on.

******

These friends have believed in me as a writer and in Half-Truths as a story. They have been my "Aarons" figuratively holding up my arms when my battles were rough. Thank you, Linda, Joyce, Rebecca, Kate, and Lillie. You each have showed me how powerful friendship can be. 

How about you? Who are your "Aarons"? 

"What Else Do You Have?" A Conversation with Lisa Kline

In the next two blog posts Lisa Kline, author of the Sisters in All Seasons books shares how this five book series was born. 

I imagine that many series first come into being as a proposal with a synopsis for each book. Mine didn’t come about that way.

Several years ago, I wrote a book about two stepsisters, Stephanie and Diana, on vacation at a mountain ranch with their newly married parents. My publisher wasn’t interested. I sent it to a few more publishers, and they weren’t interested, either. With great sadness, I put those characters behind me, wrote some other books, and a couple of years went by.

After my agent sold Write Before Your Eyes, she said, “What else do you have?” And I told her I had this manuscript about two stepsisters. “Send it to me,” she said. I had a rush of emotion.  I wanted the manuscript to have another chance, but didn’t want to get my hopes too high. But after she read it, she suggested I change it from third person to first. I balked. I had so carefully chosen third when I wrote it. But I decided the change was worth a try. This was a fairly extensive process, much more than just changing pronouns. It involved “revisioning” everything and working to differentiate the girls’ voices better. Making that change brought me closer to both characters. It seemed to open channels of understanding for me. Only a few months later, my agent sold the manuscript to Zondervan. But they didn’t just want Summer of the Wolves. They also wanted three more books about Stephanie and Diana. And their schedule called for me to write each of the books in about seven months.

It was a surreal feeling. I was exhilarated and panicking at the same time. I’d never written a book that fast before. Eleanor Hill, my first book, which was historical fiction, took about three years. The others had taken about two years apiece. But wasn’t this what I’d always dreamed of? And the hardest part, the character development, was already mostly done. No matter how intimidated I was, how could I say “no?”

The pub board immediately asked me for ideas for settings and plotlines. I spent several weeks feverishly brainstorming. I knew that I didn’t have time to actually visit locations for the books, so I decided to write about places I’d already been. There was a wildlife adventure in Summer of the Wolves, so I decided each book should have a wildlife adventure. And somehow the idea that the books might take place in different seasons formed. So my editor and I hit on the title for the series – Sisters in All Seasons.

I bombarded my agent and writers’ group with scenarios and they helped me refine them. After I submitted these ideas to the pub board, they chose their top three. My editor then told me that the covers for all of the books would be shot over a two-day shoot so that the girls they’d chosen as models for Diana and Stephanie wouldn’t age too much between covers. So, the covers were shot before I had written the first words of the books. I’ll be honest, I was freaking out!

Lisa will continue her story next week and will also be giving away a copy of the last book in this series, Seasons of Change. 

If you are attending the SCBWI Carolinas annual conference, Lisa and her good friend Chris Woodworth, are co-presenting a workshop on "Characters we Care About."

Bragging on a Friend - Perseverance Pays Off!

"Pansy Smith has just heard the most amazing news in her life. Her best friend Anna, who became brain-damaged fifteen months ago, is going to have an operation that could cure her. Now it’s time for Pansy to become all those things she hasn’t been in the past: Brave. Smart. Talented. Exceptional. The perfect friend for Anna Liddell, the most extraordinary person she’s ever known."

That's the opening hook that my friend, Miriam Franklin, used which landed her an agent.  

Recalling the process Miriam said, "DEAR ANNA grew from a book I wrote 7 or 8 years ago. I queried agents without any luck so I turned to other writers for feedback. I received a few kind and encouraging critiques with revision suggestions. But the critique that was most helpful was the writer who bluntly told me to start over. Painful as it was to hear, I knew she was right. I put the book aside and  the idea for DEAR ANNA came to me while I was working on another manuscript. I kept the main character and rewrote most of the story. I exchanged with a few more writers, including the one who’d told me to start over, and I revised some more.

"When I posted my query letter on a writing message board for feedback, agent Mandy Hubbard [with D4EO Literary], wrote a comment saying she loved the premise and was looking for a good MG novel (hint, hint). So I queried her with sample pages. A few days later she requested the full, and a week after that she asked for an exclusive on revisions. She gave me detailed notes on what needed to be done, and I knew right then that Mandy was the agent I wanted to work with. A week after I wrote the revisions, I received the call offering representation."

Miriam is a great example of perseverance and working at her craft. She and I first met 15 years ago when she came to the Charlotte, NC, SCBWI critique group. I admired her writing and yet her efforts to gain publication fell flat. 

But that has finally changed. "After 15 years of writing middle grade novels, revising, critiquing, rewriting, and facing rejections," Miriam said, "I've found an agent who loves my novel!"

And that's worth the wait. Don't you agree?