Be Light Like a Bird: A Review and ARC Giveaway

Congratulations to Connie Saunders and Karen White who won copies of AIM from last week's blog. Thanks to everyone who left comments.

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In August I featured Susan Campbell Bartoletti, a faculty member at Highlights Foundation Summer Camp. Her keynote was so packed with information that it was impossible to give you everything she said. In this blog post I use more of her points to review Monkia Schroeder's latest middle grade novel, BE LIGHT LIKE A BIRD.

Major Dramatic Question

In that previous post, I quoted Susan as saying that every book should have a MDQ--A Major Dramatic Question that can be answered yes or no.

In BE LIGHT LIKE A BIRD, Monika poses this dramatic question for Wren, the protagonist: Will she and her mother resolve her father's death? The answer to that question drives many scenes and is raised again at the climax of the book. 

Key Scenes

Susan offered a working description of key scenes which Patti Gauch shared while helping her with her first novel. You might not want to use it as a writing formula, but it’s a helpful approach to analyze your work as well as other writers' novels. 

A Scene that Incites: Wren's father's plane crashes and his remains are never found. We read,

After the search-and-rescue people called, there was an explosion in my brain, and a cloud appeared, spreading out over everything. The cloud pressed down on me like overstuffed down bedding, the kind you want to push away so you can breathe. Except there was nothing I could do to lift it. The cloud made all my thoughts seem as though they came through a fun-house mirror, like the one Dad and I had stood in front of at the county fair last year, laughing...It made it hard to think. 

It was because of the cloud that I didn't notice at first how much Ma had changed. I didn't remember her often being angry before... (p. 9)

The cloud over Wren and her mother's anger trigger their reactions. Wren's mother goes from town to town in a seeming random effort to escape their past. She refuses to talk about Wren's father, leaving Wren angry, confused, and the two estranged from one another. They end up in the Upper Peninsula in Michigan and for the third time within a few weeks, Wren starts attending a new school. 

A Scene that Agitates: Wren's new teacher asks the students to find a controversial topic for a class presentation. She mentions that the township plans to expand the landfill. In this snippet, we meet Theo, the dorky kid in class who is a loner, like Wren. 

"They've already started to survey the area, I blurted out. "I saw it. It's so sad!"
"There's nothing wrong with it," Carrie piped up. "My dad runs the landfill. They just need more space."
I frowned. Why did I not know that about her?
"Who cares about that swamp anyway?" Carrie added.
"Pete's Pond is not just a swamp," I said quietly. In my mind I added, There's actually a wetland surrounding the pond with very exciting bird life.
"Sounds like this is already controversial here in our classroom," Mrs. Peters said with an encouraging smile. "Theo what do you think?"
Theo was the master of pauses. He didn't seem to mind that a gigantic silence spread out, hovering in the middle of the conversation. He just sat there, thinking about an answer. "I wonder why we need that space to bury garbage," he finally said. "The town hasn't grown very much."
Mrs. Peters gave us a big smile. "Looks like you've already figured out why this is an interesting issue." She wrote our names and the topic on her chart. 
After school Carrie and Victoria left the building together, giggling as if they had known each other forever, just like a pair of turkey hens." (p. 62-3)

A Scene that Confuses and A Scene When the Character Faces Choices. Wren is at recess with Carrie and Victoria, the two girls who she hopes will like her. Wren has been doing Carrie's math homework in an attempt to win her friendship. Victoria is reading through a quiz in Miss Magazine that determines if you're compatible with a friend. Victoria asks, 

"If you had to spend a week on a deserted island and could only take three things what would you take?"
"That's easy," Carrie said. "I'd take my gel pens, my journal, my pink sweater."
"I'd take my photo album, my favorite quilt, and my pink jacket," Victoria said.
If I had to spend a week on a deserted island, I would take matches so I could make a fire. I'd take my binoculars to observe birds or watch for a boat to come. I'd also need a pocket knife. But I knew I couldn't say what I really thought.
"I would take..." I began slowly.
But Victoria was already reading the next question.  She looked at me, and when I didn't finish my sentence she said, "Okay you can come back to that one." Then she read the last question: "What is your favorite hobby?"
Carrie spit out her answer. "Playing tennis."
Victoria nodded eagerly. "Mine is playing tennis too!"
They both looked at me. "What's yours?"
I didn't want them to roll their eyes when I said I liked watching birds. Maybe I should tell them I liked to read. That was also true and much safer. But before I could give an answer, the bell rang, and I was glad we had to go back to class. It was easier to avoid answering than to be true to myself. (p. 72-3)

A Scene that Confronts. Wren and Theo decide to collect signatures to petition the town to preserve Pete's Pond. At lunch Carrie confronts her,

"I heard you're exhibiting your bird photos at the library and collecting signatures for a petition against my dad's landfill."
"We're just collecting signatures," I said. "It's not a big deal." I was thinking about Ma and didn't have any patience for Carrie's hysterics.
"I can't believe you're doing this to me," she said. "Making my dad out to be some evil destroyer of nature." 
"I'm not doing anything to you." I looked at her and added. Not everything is about you." (p. 140-1)

A Scene that Shows Strength or Courage. (this is continued from the previous scene)

Carrie inhaled sharply and glared at me. "You probably just want to hurt my dad because you don't have one."
Suddenly the kids at the tables near grew quiet. Everyone was watching.
I didn't know how Carrie had found out about my dad. I was mad at her for saying that, and at the same time, I was scared to what I felt the need to do next.
Then I heard Dad's words again: You are braver than you think you are.
I slowly got up, not saying a word. But before I left, I paused and looked down at Carrie. My voice was calm when I said, "I don't think I want to have anything to do with you anymore." (p. 141)

A Scene that Resolves. Wren's mother tells her daughter that after her husband died, she discovered that he was having an affair and this was why she has refused to talk about him. Wren is shocked, denies it, and decides to take a bus to Chicago to confront his girlfriend. Her mother finds Wren walking along a road holding a dead dog she wants to return to its owner. 

"Oh, baby," Ma said. "I'm so glad I found you."
"I was going to Chicago," I said. "I wanted to talk to that woman. I don't believe what you said about her. I don't want to think of Dad having done something like that. I just don't want to." Suddenly there wasn't enough space inside my chest and I could only take small breaths. "And now... now I have to tell these people that their dog died. But I can't do it. I can't. It's too sad."
"You don't have to go to Chicago," Ma said, holding my shoulders. "And I'll go with you to meet Corey's owner."
[Wren asks her mother why she hadn't told her about the affair and hears her mother's explanation.]
..."Oh, Wren, I've made so many mistakes. I hope you can forgive me."
I was startled for a moment. No one had ever asked me for forgiveness. I looked up at her. "Of course I'll forgive you. But it's still so hard to believe that Dad did this. I don't how to...how to..."
"I know, Ma said. "It means we have to forgive him for what he did and mourn him. I don't know how to do that by myself either. But maybe we can do it together."
I fell into her arms, and Ma held me tight as I buried myself in her jacket. I could feel her lips on my hair. We stayed like that for a while, and I felt good and warm.
When I looked up at her, Ma gently pushed a strand of hair from my forehead. "Come on, baby. We'll bring Cory home." (p. 211-213)

Although this isn't the end, you can see how the MDQ has been raised and answered. 

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For a chance to win my ARC, please leave me a comment by October 13. If I don't have your email address, please make sure you include it. 

Come back next week when Monika will share some of the backstory of BE LIGHT LIKE A BIRD and you'll have a chance to win an autographed copy. 

This review originally appeared on litchat.com. 

Introducing CRAZY by Linda Phillips- Part I

Congratulations to Lisa Kline, a frequent guest on this blog, who won the autographed copy of Veronica Rossi's book Under the Never Sky. She has donated so many books as giveaways--I'm happy she won one too!

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If you've been following this blog for several years than you may have already met Linda Phillips, one of my closest writing buddies, friend, and prayer partner. Like a midwife, I've watched as Linda has labored over her debut young adult novel, Crazy, and I can't wait to hold a copy of it in my hands. Over the next two blogs Linda shares what she has learned in the process of writing and bringing her baby--oops, her book--into this world.

I hope you will welcome Linda, and Crazy into your lives.

Linda and I at a Charlotte Mecklenburg
Performers Showcase event 

First, the synopsis:

Fifteen-year-old Laura Walberg can't imagine life without sketching or painting.  When her artist mother has a nervous breakdown the same week Laura's teacher pressures her to enter a prestigious contest, Laura must face her fear that art will send her over the edge, too.

Driven by shame and rage, Laura hides her disintegrating home life from everyone, including her best friend. Neither her older sister nor her father recognizes her fear of going insane.  Desperately alone, she considers suicide, faith healing, an unlikely relationship with a super-jock, and a new artistic endeavor.  When Laura’s mother becomes violent, Laura vows to find the demon that is driving her crazy.  An amazing discovery changes Laura forever and opens her heart to the mother she never knew. 

Next, the BIG question: 

What have you learned in the process of writing, editing, and getting Crazy ready for publication?

Well, I know the ultimate reward for writing a book is seeing it on the shelf, but I’m here to tell you how much I value all that I have learned along the way.  In fact, I’ve learned so much it makes me wonder what I thought I actually knew before I started! 

Speaking of getting started, my adventure began with a collection of adult poems that I wrote as a cathartic release from the emotions connected with my mother’s bipolar disorder.  I soon had a collection of twenty poems, some of which were published in adult literary journals.  I began toying with the idea of trying to get them published as a poetry collection when you suggested they would be happier in a novel. I really started working on shaping them into a book in 2007.

You and I trundled off to Chautauqua, NY for the 2009 Highlights Foundation Writer’s Workshop, where I took my very raw novel and my growing desire to see my name in print.  Thanks to my mentor for the week, Patti Gauch, I learned that my YA book was, of course, written in an adult voice.  For some reason, that minor little detail had escaped me completely!  I owe a debt of gratitude to Patti for setting me on the right path, and giving me an invaluable, detailed critique that took me a year to work through. 

The next big lesson that I learned was about time management.  I was still teaching school and finding writing time was often a frustrating challenge.  Being a morning person was helpful, and often I would write in the pre-dawn hours before school.  I dropped out of an active role in SCBWI and began saying “no” to as many commitments as possible.  When I finally felt like the manuscript was ready for submission, I treated finding an agent like a second job one whole summer vacation. 

It paid off with the offer from Julia Kenny for agent representation at Dunow, Carlson, and Lerner (she was actually with MarksonThoma at the time). 

Linda was excited to meet Julia in person in NYC!

Oh boy, here’s where the first lesson in patience really kicked in and stop me if I go on too long, because it is never-ending!  Written in verse, set in the sixties, with nary a mention of werewolves or dystopian worlds (when those things were really hot)--well, needless to say, my book was not an immediate sell!  We came really close several times, but not close enough after about thirty submissions.  I was ready to throw in the towel, but Julia wasn’t.  She suggested that I try some small, independent houses on my own, since they neither require nor desire agent representation.  In the meantime, she stayed in the background providing full support and advice. 

That meant another “summer job” of querying, but admittedly with dwindling hope.  I guess the next big lesson learned was “if you’ve got someone backing you who loves your work, for heavens sake, don’t give up.”  So I didn’t.   Within three months I had two offers from my querying efforts while I was attending a wonderful Free Expressions workshop called Your Best Book with Lorin Oberweger (speaking of learning experiences, check her out!).   And before that amazing week was out, Julia received an offer from Eerdmans, one of the original thirty submissions, which we jubilantly accepted.  I know I learned tons that week, but it might boil down to how to stay sane while juggling three offers at a workshop with your WIP. 

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Join us next week when Linda shares what she has learned about herself, revision, cover design, and one of her poems from Crazy.

You Heard it Here First!

Two years ago I was pleased to share my friend Linda Phillips' news of signing with an agent. Today, I am even more excited to share her announcement of signing with a publisher! And you know that I'll be the first to offer an ARC or off-the-presses copy of her debut young adult novel when it is released.

Carol: Tell us about CRAZY. What were your significant milestones along your path to publication? How did you mine your own life experiences to write it?

Linda: CRAZY (my working title) actually began as a collection of 20 poems that were loosely centered on the theme of my mother’s bipolar disorder and took about 15 years to write. It was largely a cathartic exercise on my part to work through years of angst and unanswered questions of my teen years.

If you remember, you read it and said,  “This needs to be a book.” (Carol grins.)

I teach full time, I am the mother of teenage twin boys, and I fully participate in my husband’s parish ministry.  I’ll get right on it……from 4:00 to 6:00 a.m. weekdays or all that spare time on Saturday after groceries, cleaning, lesson plans and school activities with my boys. 

But the idea felt right, and I was hooked. 

By the summer of 2009 I had a much-edited manuscript I took to the Highlights Foundation Writer’s Workshop in Chautauqua, NY. Patti Gauch, former senior editor of Philomel, was my designated mentor, and she graciously went the extra mile with me.  The biggest thing she did was point out that my YA book had an adult voice, and a mother that dominated the scene.   

My comfort zone collapsed. 

I spent the next year (still teaching) writing a revision based on Patti’s invaluable critiquing.  In addition to her input, I began to step out of the protagonist position, to put necessary distance between the story and myself.

The following summer vacation was a marathon agent query and in October, 2010 I signed with Julia Kenny at Markson Thoma Agency in New York.  She has the patience of Job, both in dealing with all my “nervous Nelly” emails, and the two years it took to land a deal with William B. Eerdmans. 

At this point, we have a tentative release date of August, 2014.  As my pals, the Beatles said, “It’s been a long and winding road” and I can’t wait to see what lies around the bend. 

Carol: Why did you use free verse to write your story?

Linda: My father passed along his love of poetry to me, and I’ve dabbled in it since high school. I have used it to think things through, both the good and the bad.  It has been like a best friend to me all these years, and the most effective way I knew of understanding life experiences.

Carol: What do you hope that your readers will gain from reading your book?

Linda: When the book opens, Laura is a nervous, frightened, and depressed teenager. She is obsessed with hating her artist mother who appears to be mentally disintegrating before her eyes. She worries everyone in her small mill town is aware that her mother is crazy. When her mother has a nervous breakdown, Laura becomes frightened that she will suffer the same consequence if she pursues her own passion for art. 

She sets out to find where she fits in the art world, and ultimately, to get to the bottom of what has caused her mother’s illness.  In the process, she discovers an inner strength that enables her to ask her mother for forgiveness and to begin a new relationship with her. 

This is a story of hope, born out of Laura’s determination to find the truth and to understand and accept it.  According to the National Institute of Mental Health, bipolar disorder affects 5.7 million adults 18 and older in the U.S. population annually. Millions of adults with the disorder are in the process of raising children.  I hope that my book may serve as a support, a conversation starter, or perhaps a catalyst leading to medical help for teenage or adult readers affected by this disorder. 

Thank you, Linda, for this insider's look into your book and your path to publication!

When she’s not writing, Linda can be found walking or bicycling the greenways near her home in Charlotte, trying out a new vegan recipe, or settling in for a stretch with her Nook.  In between, she might be found walking, praying, or exchanging writing ideas with her appreciative writing buddy, me. 

Words of Wisdom from Highlights Writers Workshop

This week has been an amazing opportunity to learn and grow as a writer. As I look back on the week, I want so share some of the highlights (pun intended) of this inspirational Highlights Writers Workshop.

I learned from Harold Underdown, my reviewer, that I needed to figure out what my character wants. Although I have taught that principle to other writers, I had missed finding that driving force for Kate Dinsmore, my 13-year-old protagonist in my historical novel, Half-Truths. After an hour of soul-searching, I finally got it! My novel now has the "arrow which will drive a book" as Patti Gauch shared in her talk on conflict and tension.


I also learned from Gauch that, "You have to be a little crazy to write a good and original book." Getting there has to do with discovering the truth in yourself. Gauch's advice fit as I wrestled to pin down the truths that Kate will discover about herself and her family. Gauch gave us all permission to think unimaginable things and to follow what we're passionate about.


Speaking of passions...Once upon a time I wrote a kids book about the art, history, and science of glass. Although I was under contract for Discover Glass, the publisher went bankrupt and the book has languished in a box in my laundry room closet. Caught up in writing and promoting Teaching the Story: Fiction Writing in Grades 4-8, the glass book has been untouched for several years. I'd lost hope of every publishing it, until I met Andrew Gutelle, who encouraged me to speak with Carolyn Yoder, the editor of Calkins Creek Books. She said she was willing to look at the outline and Andy Boyles, science editor for Boyds Mill Press said I could send him some sample chapters. Encouragement for all types of projects- fiction, nonfiction, magazine articles--abounds here.

Kim Griswell has been one of the people who has encouraged me in my writing career. She edited both articles which I sold to Highlights Magazine and it was fun to meet her and to take her workshop on "A Sense of Place." She said a lot about the importance of creating authentic settings including how a setting can introduce a threatening element and tell the reader to pay attention to what is going to happen next. A setting can shape characters, create a sense of mystery, demand the character's immediate action, and be a character in and of itself. (Think Oz in the Wizard of Oz.) In keeping with her class, here is a picture of Kim and I sitting at an antique desk in Alumni Hall here on the campus. I took dozens of picture of furniture to help me with my research for Half-Truths.


Finally, it is always a pleasure to be around Kent Brown, executive director of Highlights Foundation. His passion for educating and nurturing children was communicated throughout the conference. Here he is at last night's annual auction. The proceeds go to a scholarship fund which helps authors and illustrators participate in this writers workshop. His energy, enthusiasm, and love of life is contagious.

Joyce Hostetter, a friend with whom I lead writing workshops for teachers, told me that coming to Chautauqua would be life changing. I suspect that she is right.

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Highlights Writers Workshop, Calkins Creek, Boyds Mill Press, Harold Underdown, Kent Brown, Patti Gauch, Joyce Hostter, Carolyn Yoder, Teaching the Story: Fiction Writing in Grades 4-8, Kim Griswell
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